A witness to Michael Jackson’s autopsy has claimed that the former King of Pop’s nose was missing. Well, duh. It’s been missing for years.
The claims were supported by Jackson’s housekeeper, who said surgery had destroyed Jackson’s nose, and he had a false one. Frankly, that’s ridiculous. False noses look good. / believable.
Interesting – at the moment, his nose is the only part of him that doesn’t smell.
Turns out Michael Jackson’s got no nose. How does he smell? TERRIBLE!
He’d had so much plastic surgery that even his false nose was falling apart.
If you start off trying to fix your nose, you’re bound to blow it.
The hardest thing about getting a false nose is picking it.
Police suspect the nose was taken by facially-disfigured homeless gay men, most likely on over-the-counter amphetamines. They’re on the look out for no-nose homo hobos on No-doz.
I’m sure it’s around somewhere. You how it is – you look for ages, and turns out it’s right under your nose.
Police suspect that it’s been nicked by, it’s been pinched by, a smooth criminal.
Not only was the body in the morgue missing a nose, but it turns out that sparkly glove he wore wasn’t just a glove.
Not only was the body in the morgue missing a nose, but a pulse too.
Turns out the only human part of him was his crotch. No wonder he had to keep grabbing it.
Turns out he could Heal the World, but not his face.
Well, that’s what happens if you don’t stop till you get enough. / I think that’s a lesson for us all – please, stop BEFORE you get enough.
Where’s it gone? Nobody nose…
As the autopsy wore on, it got worse – they discovered he was entirely false. The real Michael Jackson died on the set of “Thriller”.
No wonder he always wore that face mask. Stopped his nose dropping off in cold weather.
Tragically, in the last years of his career, he not only had a false nose, but a tin ear.
Turns out it was his nose that had all the talent.
The news is not all bad. His former real nose is being stitched back together for a solo career.
Jackson’s plastic surgeon didn’t respond to accusations of malpractice. Well, he didn’t hear them – false ears.
Ah, a fake nose. The perfect thing for snorting fake cocaine. / The perfect thing for not snorting cocaine. / The perfect place to hide your coke stash.
I’ll keep those guys in mind when I’m looking for a false nose resembling a botched plastic surgery disaster.
No wonder Bubbles loved him so much – he was the only human with less nose than a chimp.
Jackson’s corpse has now been laid to rest, where it will slowly melt away. / where it will be food for nanobots.
An interesting experiment will be to see which bits of him don’t decompose. Just putting it out there for celebrity-graverobbing scientists.
Perhaps the nose has taken off with Jackson’s fortune – and now, it’s a nose on the run.
People think that his prosthetic nose is filled with fake mucous, but it’s snot.
