Internet gaming sites are using kindergarten kids in marketing material for more PC gambling terminals in clubs. The campaign acts as a reminder to venue operators that once patrons have run out of money they can still gamble their children. / can still take their first-borns.
The marketing materials feature pictures of kindy-age kids, or as they describe them, “human collateral”. / “human dividends”. / “gaming chips in nappies”.
Kids are being used in the marketing, and also get better odds on the roulette tables.
They’ve also introduced kiddie gambling, including a roulette table where the minimum bet is 5 mixed lollies.
The campaign is suggesting that with kids now so PC-literate, PC games will have to be installed to make sure the next generation’s lives can be properly ruined.
The campaign is suggesting that with kids now so PC-literate, there’s a risk that future gamblers will just ruin their lives at home.
Because in the future, pubs can’t rely on being able to destroy lives with alcohol alone. / What are pubs planning to do in the future? Ruin lives by alcohol alone?
The campaign is suggesting that with kids now so PC-literate, there’s a risk that future gamblers will just gamble at home – and how are pubs going to capitalise on their addiction then? / – and then how are pubs going to get them to blow the rest of their money on alcohol? / – leaving the pubs no way to milk them of their life-savings.
Computer gambling – it’s child’s play!
The campaign has worked, with venue operators convinced that if three year olds can use computer gambling then even pokie addicts should be able to work it out.
The boss of BetEzy says that it’s about time venues started thinking about the kids – he reckons they’re really underutilising the “innocent children” market.
Betezy boss Vince McDonald said that with even kindergarten children being taught keyboard skills, it’s not a matter of if you install computer gambling, but when. And they should also look at introducing gambling on who can build the tallest lego tower.
Unless we tap into the burgeoning realm of PC-based gambling, Aussies could lose their world record for problem gamblers! Tanzania is closing fast – and in South Korea they’re training problem gamblers from the age of 9!
The kids make for such a cute campaign, what with their rosy lips and chubby cheeks… there’s so much there to bleed dry.
Think of the future. As soon as next year we could already have these kids gambling their playlunch.
Come on, by the time these kids grow up to be legal gamblers, we’ll be gambling by the power of our minds…
Gambling’s fun! Just ask the gambling association’s new mascot, Freddie the Friendly One Armed-Robot! The kids love him! / new mascot, Hard Luck Henry! He’ll blow you for a fiver! / new mascot, Pawn Shop Pete! If you can just lend him 20 bucks, he’ll make it back, he swears!
Ah, but I remember being a child… riding bikes… singing songs… losing all my possessions in a killer round of Three-Handed Whist…
To properly tap the child market, they’re remaking “Hi Five” for the gambling industry, as “Aces Hi Five”… “Today we’ll be making a… Royal Flush!”
To properly tap the child market, the gambling industry are making an educational cartoon, “Lou Pierre The Croupier”. Expect lots of laughs, and zany excitement, as Lou Pierre the Croupier takes lots and lots of money from the Hungry Humblebums, and battles the naughty Lefty Wowsers as they try to stop people’s freedom! “Lou Pierre the Croupier” – just after “Pole-Dancing For Kids”!
If only pornographers could learn this lesson. Remember, today’s three year old is tomorrow’s depraved pervert!
They got the idea from the kiddie porn industry.
They’re going to extend the idea to the alcohol industry. Coming soon, the Bundaberg Bub!
