A foot fetishist has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick over 70 New York women on the subway over the past three years. He said his motivation was “to make them laugh and smile and open to me” but that when her tried to “taste and touch them”, “some women had kicked me and screamed”. That’s strange… maybe they didn’t like his after-shave.
He has been charged with forcible touching, sex abuse and unlawful imprisonment. Yeah, it’s OK to keep someone in a 4×4 wire cell for five years without charge, but grabbing their legs is definitely imprisonment.
The man has been fired from his job with a sightseeing tours company. Unfortunately on his tours no-one got to see any sights above the knee.
Said one woman, “I thought it was a new boot polishing service. And I did get a killer shine.”
The man explained: “I’m not a foot fetishest. I’m a knee fetishist who slipped.”
After more than 70 failed attempts, he’s decided to ditch licking women’s legs and work on a pick-up line.
If a strange woman had been on her knees trying to lick, fondle and kiss men, they’d have slipped her 50 bucks…
It was bad enough that there was a foot fetishist going around licking women’s feet, but you don’t want to hear the story about his friend the coprophiliac…
“I thought that by licking their legs I could cut out that chit-chat phase… it’s always so awkward.
He thought that by licking the women, he could get them to chat. Most guys chat to women to get to the lickin’.
He thought that by licking the women, he could get them to chat. He does occasionally get a couple of words out of them: “FUCK OFF!”
