A Japanese man has spent three years with his girlfriend – a pillow featuring a drawing of an adolescent girl. She is the perfect partner: she never argues with him, she’s 100% faithful, and she’s machine washable.
He says that, unlike his previous girlfriend, she is loving, committed, and half polyester.
And there’s nothing he likes better after a hard day than cuddling up with his pillow and laying his head down on a nice soft nude woman.
His friends say they’re surprised he could score a pillow that attractive.
Of course, the two of them spending the night together drives his doona mad with jealousy.
He decided to try going out with a pillow after he’d already been rejected by his doona, his fitted sheet, and his rubber mattress-protector.
He says the sex is great – although it’s a bit annoying always having to rest your face in the wet patch.
Sure, she’s not much of a talker, but she’s totally comfortable in bed.
He says she’s the only girl he’s met who really shares his passion for being stuffed with feathers and fluffed.
And, unlike his previous human girlfriends, when she’s looking a bit tired and run down, all she needs is a good fluffing.
Not only is she a fantastic lover, but, unlike his old human girlfriends, she doesn’t mind if he drools on her in his sleep.
And, for an extra-kinky night, he’ll occasionally invite other pillows into his bed. PHWOAR!
He doesn’t take her to work, but he has a back-up pillow inside his desk in case he as to work late. He just hopes the main pillow doesn’t find out…
Who doesn’t wish they could keep a backup girlfriend in their desk?
Nisan says he’s “experienced so many amazing things because of her.” Although granted, most of them involve having sex with a pillow. / Screwing a pillow, for one.
It’s definitely the first girlfriend he’s ever had that he can put over his head and flop around for fun.
Sure, she can’t go down on him, but since he cut the hole in her, she gets down on him all the time.
He’s even been speaking about marriage – though that’s just pillow talk.
They don’t argue much, but they do occasionally pillow fight.
The picture’s of an adolescent girl – but it’s ok, the pillow is full-size.
He takes her out to karaoke – and she’s never hit a bum note.
And unlike his last girlfriend, she has no objection to being flipped over.
He thinks of her as one big funbag.
Unfortunately, lately he’s been suspecting she’s having an affair with the doona. After all, when he’s busy at work, they spend all day in bed together…
He says he would consider having a human girlfriend again one day, but only if she comes from Manchester.
Q: What’s the difference between Nisan and Oasis?
A: Oasis come from Manchester, Nisan comes IN manchester.
The pillow’s ex-boyfriend always claimed to be a foot-stool, but she left him when he turned out to be a poof.
