Osama bin Laden’s first wife has written a book about life with the al-Qaeda leader. bin Laden is described as a tyrant who trained his own children to be suicide bombers and murdered their pets. But he did have a softer side – he just loved to slaughter Jews. / he just loved to cuddle up for a four-wife orgy. / every year, he’d bring each of his children a Jew-head on a stick. / every year, he’d sit down with the kids and they’d laugh and sing and play ‘decapitate the US soldier’. / and play ‘pass the Jew-head’.
On one camping trip to Sudan’s desert, he found an isolated spot and ordered his sons to dig ditches and lie in them, with only dirt for warmth. Seems cruel, but then we still haven’t found them.
On one camping trip to Sudan’s desert, he found an isolated spot and ordered his sons to dig ditches and lie in them, with only dirt for warmth. It’s Cubs, bin Laden style. / But what else are you going to do on Ditch-warmth Tuesday? / And that’s the last time the kids forgot to pack the tents.
On one camping trip to Sudan’s desert, he found an isolated spot and ordered his sons to dig ditches and lie in them, with only dirt for warmth. What do you expect? The man lives in a CAVE. / But, for someone who lives in a desert cave, that’d be like relaxing into a spa bath.
And if any of the kids misbehaved, he flew a plane into them. / signed them up for flying lessons.
It’s just one more way Osama’s opposed to the West. These days, most Western parents consider blowing the children up to be a little severe.
Osama’s first wife Najwa Ghanem says she hasn’t spoken to bin Laden since the 9/11 attacks, and wishes we’d stop asking.
Osama even refused his son asthma medication. A clear airway is just smoothing the path for Satan!
The millionaire refused to allow any modern appliances near his home. Clearly, he prefers to keep them in the binLadencave. / in his holiday-cave.
The millionaire refused to allow any modern appliances near his home. Clearly, all those videos and internet sites and hi-tech weapons are steam-powered.
But if you had 14 children and no TV, you’d be a shitty father too.
Osama once ordered a pet monkey to be run over because it was “not a monkey at all”, but a Jewish person turned into a monkey by God. And September 11 will be nothing compared to his planned monkey massacre!
Osama once ordered a pet monkey to be run over because it was “not a monkey at all”, but a Jewish person turned into a monkey by God. And, as all true Muslims know, the Koran clearly states that any Jewish monkeys should be run over.
Osama once ordered a pet monkey to be run over because it was “not a monkey at all”, but a Jewish person turned into a monkey by Allah. Osama knew it by the way the monkey kept taunting him: “Jew-jew-jew-jew-jew!”
Osama once ordered a pet monkey to be run over because it was “not a monkey at all”, but a Jewish person turned into a monkey by Allah. But Osama considered that insufficient punishment for Zionism.
Allah regularly turns Jews into monkeys, just so they can be more easily run over.
He was particularly vicious with pets. He ordered a monkey to be run over and got a litter of puppies gassed. And those goldfish better shut up their incessant bubbling!
Sure, he murdered his childrens’ pets – but who hasn’t flushed a goldfish or two down the toilet…
He fathered 14 children, because Islam “needs many warriors”. Preferably ones under 10. / Preferably ones who haven’t yet developed a moral compass. / developed any real ability to critically analyse religious propaganda.
Osama’s got 14 children. You’d think we would’ve been able to find ONE by now.
One thing’s for sure – it’d make a great sitcom. “Married with Osama” – the family that sticks together blows itself apart! / the family that blows itself apart really sticks together.
