McDonald’s are combining forces with a local church to oppose a neighbourhood brothel.
Minister: “It’s so close, you can almost reach around & touch it with your hand.”
And if anyone knows about being touched by young kids with a reacharound…
I don’t see what’s wrong with a priest going to McDonald’s to show how a kid can reacharound and touch a brothel.
He insists that any touching by reacharound should be kept inside the pulpit.
The last time the clergy and McDonald’s were aligned in a campaign was the short lived Holy Meal. The blood of Christ thickshake was not a hit.
But if you can’t put a brothel near a fast food store, where can you? The moon?
At long last you’ll be able to have a happy meal with a happy finish.
Finally, the perfect place to dip your McNuggets.
And don’t worry – they know just the place to put your pickle.
And the brothel will offer some extra-special services, including one for people with a Ronald-fetish, a Hamble-gurgler, and something that will give you a fat purple grimace.
However, it seems that a brothel is much more appropriate for a mascot like Grimace – you know, the big purple monster…
Of course, you don’t want to walk into the wrong place and order a Happy Meal. Or do you?
McDonald’s are also objecting to one of the prostitutes, who’s advertising herself as “Big Mac”.
One local retailer objected that kids or teenagers could end up embarrassed if they see their dad come out of the brothel. But on the other hand, it would be all very entertaining to their friends.
One local retailer objected that teenagers could end up embarrassed if they see their dad come out of the brothel. Or indeed, working there. / Or indeed, if their dad ends up being one of their clients.
One local retailer objected that teenagers could end up embarrassed if they see their dad come out of the brothel. Or their mum working there.
There is a big difference between a brothel and a Maccas. One preys on the unhealthy urges of the weak of will, while the other one strictly advertises to adults.
Of course, you make quite an impression if you walk into the brothel with your Quarter Pounder in your hands.
“It’s very hard to explain to young kids what’s going on in there”, say many parents. “I mean, who KNOWS what’s in the thickshakes.”
But it’s handy for when one of the girls feels like a Big Mac. / Quarter Pounder.
The brothel even has a service it calls the “Happy Meal”. You come in a box. But you get a free toy!
You can come in, have a quick munch, and leave – just like at the Maccas!
Kids may be surprised by the apparent sudden popularity of the Filet-o-Fish…
The most confusing part for the kids is how so many customers smell of Filet-o-Fish.
The main thing that McDonald’s is objecting to is the brothel’s name: The Red Rooter.
In order to compete, the brothel will be offering options of take-away or eat-out.
It’s quite suitable, really. Maccas is like junior sin.
Most disturbing of all is a man who’s begun hanging around the site and only calls himself “Hungry Jack”.
It’s not so much that they’re putting a brothel near a Maccas – it’s that they’re installing a drive-thru.
Just 20 metres from the proposed brothel site is a studio that teaches 300 children music – so it’s totally inappropriate! Imagine trying to screw with that racket going on!
