A study has found that men lie twice as often as women. Oh, we do not. / Actually, no we don’t.
According to a new survey, men tell about 6 lies a day, while women only tell 3. Although apparently they are much better at lying on survey questionnaires.
Men tell six fibs a day, while women tell just three. Though that one about being on the pill is a bit of a doozy.
The most common lie for both men and women is “nothing’s wrong, I’m fine”. Which is often not so much a lie as a dare. / So at least we’re lying to avoid arguments.
5 percent of workers have been sacked for telling a lie. And one day their partners are going to cotton on. / Though most of them claim they’re still employed.
5 percent of the workers surveyed have been sacked for telling a lie. The other 95 are in Parliament.
5 percent of the workers surveyed have been sacked for telling a lie. But at least they can then use those skills to lie about looking for work.
They tell their partner they’re still at work when they’re at the pub, they tell their boss they’re at home sick when they’re at the pub, and they tell the girls at the pub they’re on holidays and single.
But men need to lie, especially when they’re forced to answer questions like “Does my bum look big in this?”, “Do you want to do the dishes?”, and “So did you root my sister?”
Apparently the most popular lies men tell are “no, your bum doesn’t look big in that”, “sorry, I’ve got to work late tonight” and “of course I won’t come in your mouth”. / “of course I didn’t bang your sister”. / “no, I just slipped in the shower and landed on it by accident”. / “I just buy it for the articles”.
Men lie more than women. But at least that gives women something to bitch about. / No wonder chicks bitch so much.
Sure, overall men lie more. But women have more that needs lying about.
I have a dream that one day we can all tell each other the truth, however unpleasant, insulting or demeaning. Boy that sounds fun.
The study finding the average person lies more than four times a day was published in the Journal of Bloody Reputable Science by Professor Hambert Q. Numbledumble. / Alias Q. Sausageface.
I don’t know, I find this study hard to believe.
If men weren’t supposed to be liars, God wouldn’t’ve given us women. Or at least not women AND penises.
83 percent of both genders say they can tell if their partner is lying. But they enjoy watching them try.
Men may lie more than women, but that’s the only way they’re going to get laid.
Clearly, what we need to do is strap lie-detectors to us all and… no, actually, maybe that’s a bad idea. / strap lie-detectors to us all. Then at least Kyle Sandilands would have a job.
9 percent of people have gotten into trouble for a lie at work, including 5 percent who’ve gotten the sack. So make sure you only lie about something that’s going to get you sacked anyway.
