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Good News Week

Mr Ruddle (GNW 1/6/09: Warren)

Liberal frontbencher Christopher Pyne called Kevin Rudd “Mr Squiggle” but was forced to withdraw the taunt by the Speaker. There’s only one Mr S in this House.

But really – is “Mr Squiggle” all that much more offensive than “Mr Speaker”?

Well, it makes a change from Mr Sheen.

Now I understand why Rudd’s Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme rewards heavy polluters at the expense of Green Power households. It’s upside-down, Miss Jane!

Rudd’s finally got a solution to the disastrous economic data – turn it upside down!

Of course, if Mr Pyne had really wanted Mr Rudd to answer the question, he should’ve just said (blackboard voice) “hurry up, hurry up!”

Though with his threats of double dissolution if legislation isn’t rushed through Parliament, he’s more like Blackboard: “Hurry up!”

Pyne’s point was that Rudd has begun a Parliamentary trend of holding up pictures. So really, he’s more like Blackboard. Which explains why he’s trying to get all that legislation hurried up.

I guess that makes Swanny Blackboard, where Kevin does all his figuring-out. And let’s not forget Garrett the Snail and Bill the Steam-Shorten.

Yes, Mr Ruddle. He can make sense of any set of random squiggles you put in front of him. Just make sure they don’t contain any red meat.

But if Mr Rudd doesn’t want to be called Mr Squiggle, he really should stop turning his papers upside down and editing them with his nose.

Although, like Mr Squiggle, Mr Rudd IS operated by a puppet-handler just off screen.

Of course the taunt had to be withdrawn. If people start thinking of Rudd as Mr Squiggle, they might just ask who’s pulling his strings.

And just like his predecessor used to religiously take his morning powerwalk, Rudd is always looking for a chance to spacewalk.

Actually, the two are very similar. They both have glasses, they both have to stick their noses into terrible messes and try to turn them into something orderly, and they both are best friends with a doormat. / and they both go to work by flying down from the moon in a tiny little rocket. / and they both are good friends with a Steam Shovel and a grumpy Blackboard.

After all, he does like to call Therese “doormat”.

In fact, the two are virtually identical! Although I’m not sure that Rocket is quite as green as a Prius.

Apparently, referring to someone as “Mr Squiggle” is disorderly. I’d hate to think what “arse-munching tard” is.

Well, with the GFC, the swine flu, environmental disaster, and nuclear armed crazies, it does seem that everything’s upside down these days…

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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