British police are chasing a man who dresses in nothing but a nappy and approaches women late at night, asking “Are there any baby-changing facilities in the area?” He obviously doesn’t realise he’s already changed into a baby.
Police are currently trying to lure the man out of hiding with a giant teddy bear and some mashed up apple.
He assaults the women before making a getaway in a pram pushed by a giant.
But what law has he broken? Nappy-wearing in a public place? Loitering without a dummy? Intent to make a stinky poopoo?
The saddest part is that there are no baby-changing facilities in the area – he’s had to spend night after night with a soiled diaper.
In related local news, a six month old baby in a business suit has been asking people if they know where the stock exchange is. Obviously, Lachlan Murdoch’s son is in town…
Also seen has been a man covered in fur asking if anyone can clean up his droppings, and a man dressed as a bright red octagon, asking people to STOP.
The man was surprised when one woman not only changed him, but breastfed him, and burped him over her shoulder. “Er… I’m not actually a baby,” he said.
“It was terrifying,” said one victim. “I had to fight my innate urge to breastfeed.”
It’s said that a man with a baby is always attractive to women… This guy just cut out the middle-man.
It’s said that a man with a baby is always attractive to women… So he thought he’d go one better.
It’s said that a man with a baby is always attractive to women. But he didn’t have a baby handy, so he had to do all the hard work himself.
It’s like Candid Camera without the camera!
He escaped several times by pointing to a bush and shouting “Look, there’s a secret camera!” and running away while his victims posed.
Of course, if the guy had been carrying a videocamera, not only wouldn’t the women have felt assaulted, but most of them would have changed him…
Police were worried until the man turned out to be the Chancellor of the Exchequor…
Just another night on the town for the Chancellor of the Exchequor…
He’s currently public enemy number twos.
Apparently the man’s a smooth talker – as smooth as a baby’s bum. “Wanna check?”
