Kevin Rudd’s Twitter posts seem to be even duller than his press conferences. Come on Kevvie, a little less “act decisively to support jobs” and a bit more “how hard is it around here to get a bit of fucking chicken?”
But of COURSE Rudd’s tweets are boring! What did people expect? “Kevin is about to single-handedly fight off the Nazi robot-bears – wish him luck!”; “Kevin is stepping out of the space-pod now – let’s hope the natives are friendly!”; “Kevin is about to dunk the Vovo – hope the tea doesn’t make the biscuit base too soggy!”
At least if you become a follower of Rudd’s tweets, it means you don’t need to interact with the mainstream media to get your fix of bland soundbites.
New media experts acknowledge that while Rudd’s posts lacked personality, it was probably best. Given his personality.
Of course, it’s all a big mistake. He was meant to be on Twatter.
He actually prefers Nitwitter, but there’s only him and Swannie on there.
Normally when someone in Parliament tweets, everyone denies it was them and opens a window. / everyone tries to blame Swannie.
You always have notification when the Prime Minister tweets – beforehand, he says “pull my finger”.
But of course the PM is on Twitter. All he wants is a nationful of followers.
But of course the PM is on Twitter. After all, if Obama had an account on fisting_grannies.com, Kevin would too. / He’ll do anything that Obama’s doing.
Rudd not only has 33,000 followers, he’s following just as many. But it’s ok, checking his updates only takes 92 hours out of his day. / Which is cool, although I suspect he doesn’t keep up with everyone.
Of course, he was actually beaten to Twitter by Malcolm Turnbull. Or as he’s better known, the “fail whale”.
Rudd likes being on twitter because he’s tweeted with wespect. / like woyalty.
Rudd was a heavy user of Facebook before the last election but has now switched almost entirely to Twitter. He doesn’t need friends now that he has followers.
If only Parliament was entirely conducted through Twitter. Question Time could be Tweet Time, addressed to Mr Tweeter, and Rudd and Turnbull could give each other the Tweety Bird.
After the criticism was published, Kevin got a bit more personal, tweeting “Still smarting over Herald Sun’s comments on my tweets…” So nice work Herald Sun, now we’ve got a Prime Minister worried about how to spice up his tweets instead of, I don’t know, trying to fix the economy, the environment and the nutjobs in the Pacific.
Kevin has now tweeted “Still smarting over Herald Sun’s comments on my tweets…” Sure, economic collapses are bad, environmental catastrophes are no fun, but comments on his tweets are where he draws the line!
After the criticism was published, Kevin got a bit more personal, tweeting “Still smarting over Herald Sun’s comments on my tweets…” So go on, Kev, give GNW a plug or we’ll really make you smart. / give you something to make you smart.
I’m sorry, but “smarting”? Since when did Australians say “ooh, that smarts”? It’s a dead giveaway – Ruddie’s just on Twitter to try to impress his new special American friend.
I’m sorry, but “smarting”? Since when did Australians say “ooh, that smarts”? A true-bloodied Aussie would say “hurts like buggery”, “takes the wind outta ya”, or, most likely of all “nuthin mate, just got something in my eye”.
Experts agree that Rudd has been right to be cautious – he wouldn’t want anyone to actually experience his personality.
Mr Rudd’s spokeswoman said the Prime Minister authored many of the tweets himself, but some were ghost written by his advisors. Though not her, as she’s too busy talking on Kevin’s behalf about the people writing on his behalf.
Many of Kevin’s tweets are ghost written by advisors. But be assured they’re straight from the advisors’ hearts.
Many of Kevin’s tweets are actually ghost written. But he assures us, most of the writers are not actual ghosts.
Many of Kevin’s tweets are actually ghost written. And, knowing him, not even by genuine ghosts.
Rudd was about a month behind Malcolm Turnbull in signing up to Twitter, but has more than three times the followers. Though Turnbull can take comfort from the fact that Peter Costello is still putting his posts up on AltaVista.
If only Parliament was entirely conducted through Twitter. Then politicians would have to answer the question in less than 140 characters. / You can’t drone on and on about irrelevant rubbish when you’ve only got 140 characters.
So, our PM’s boring. But at least he’s not evil! / not evil like the last one!
But Rudd’s completely neglected his Facebook account. Speaking of which Kevin, some of us would like to finish our Scrabble games.
The thing is, once you start Twitter, you can never stop. No-one likes a Twitter-quitter.
