The latest taste sensation in Japan: Vegemite! Apparently it tastes sensational spread on blubber. / It puts a certain zing into boring old blubber. / Thanks to Vegemite, blubber finally tastes good!
The Japanese may like Vegemite now, but just wait till they discover toast…
It’s not surprising. When you’ve been raised on wasabi, Vegemite tastes positively subtle. / understated.
The Japanese love Vegemite. Or as they call it, “pissweak brown wasabi”.
Kraft say they’ve been inundated with enquiries from Japanese tourists for supplies and tours of the production plant. Though they say it’s purely for scientific purposes.
Japanese tourists have apparently been going crazy hunting down Vegemite. They don’t want to eat it, but they love taking photos of its colourful packaging!
Vegemite has been declared by Japanese gourmets to be very high in the fifth taste, “umami”. In fact, only the finest Tokyo restaurants will serve you a Vegemite sandwich. And if you know the chef personally you might be able to get a Cheesestick.
So all those high-profile chefs who’ve ragged on Vegemite over the years will be eating their words. Or possibly Vegemite. / Smeared with Vegemite.
For years umami has been added to food via MSG, but with that falling out of favour, Asian restaurants may well start tasting a little more like an Aussie sanger…
There’s nothing more delicious than a raw fish smeared with thick brown yeast extract and wrapped in seaweed. Mmm, makes the mouth water!
There’s nothing more delicious than a traditional California Roll filled with Vegemite and cheese. And, instead of rice and seaweed, I like to use butter and white bread.
Japan loves Vegemite. And you can’t get much more dinky di than the Japanese.
Not only are the Japanese really getting into Vegemite, but they’ve started dressing really bad, talking like yobs, and smoking Winnie Blues. / but they’ve started betting on the horses, wearing flannies, and drinking at midday. / but they’ve started wearing Speedos, getting savagely sunburned, and calling their children Shazza and Johnno.
As well as serving Vegemite, gourmet restaurants in Japan are now also serving blackened snags, mum’s coleslaw and cheap cask wine.
But if other people start liking Vegemite, what can we claim as the unifying Australian taste? The Pav? The Lamington? Sand mixed with Zinc Cream?
The Japanese are eating Vegemite. That’s like catching Pauline Hanson eating sushi.
I can’t believe the Japanese are eating Vegemite! I’ll need a strong Irish coffee with my vindaloo tonight!
If the Japanese are going to start enjoying Vegemite, we have to launch a campaign so that Aussies start to enjoy the taste of wasabi-dipped whale!
The Japanese love of Vegemite is causing a shortage of the spread in Hong Kong. Come on, can’t these people scrape their own yeast extracts together? How hard can it be?
Don’t they get it? It was all just a big practical joke! No-one really likes the taste of Vegemite!
Those Japanese – so gullible! Next time we’ll tell them we’re eating seaweed and raw fish! / This is working almost as well as that time we told them seaweed and eels were edible!
What do they mean Vegemite is full of umami? They’re trying to take over our Aussie foods from within!
In fact it turns out that the World War 2 bombings of Darwin were just an attempt to secure a steady Vegemite supply.
The Japanese are particularly drawn to Vegemite because of the Happy Little Vegemites song. In fact it’s a new Japanese animation: Happy Little Vegemites in Joyful Land of Funtimes.
Umami is a Japanese word for “deliciousness” describing a fifth, savoury, basic taste. As opposed to “ooh mummy”, which describes the taste of breast milk.
As well as umami, scientists have recently accepted the existence of other tastes, such as Mugabe, which is the taste of democracy being shat upon.
Eating Vegemite is an excellent way of maintaining those slanty eyes. (taste, squint) Ewwwwww! Ah, us Aussies, so very racist.
