Oh no! The world is running out of internet addresses! By 2010 there’ll be no more addresses available on the present network and new users will have to be use the slightly older, tin-can-and-twine-ernet. / and new users will have to actually talk to each other. / and new users will have to actually talk to each other in person. Urgh. / will have to resort to texting, using the telephone, writing letters, or actually talking face to face. It’s a terrifying future.
We’re down to the last 700 million addresses. I don’t know about you, but I’m not panicking yet. / Maybe tell me when we’re down to the last million. / Now, I don’t want to seem overly laissez-faire, but maybe there are some other things we need to worry about first? / Who wants to be the one to tell the starving millions about this horrifying tragedy?
We’re down to the last 700 million addresses. It sounds like someone saying “Shit! We’re down to the last 500 litres of milk! Off to the shops then, quick smart.”
But it’s no stress really – by 2010 we’ll all be emailing each other with our minds.
By 2010, everyone’s internet connections will need to be upgraded. And people still on dial-up will be killed.
30 years ago, the pioneers of the Internet assumed four billion addresses would be ample. How could they be so naïve? Did they not envisage internet toasters? / web-browsing fridges?
30 years ago, the pioneers of the Internet assumed four billion addresses would be ample. But computers back then were three stories tall and ran on coal.
Unless everyone upgrades their Internet, we’ll be restricted to 4.3 billion Internet connections. I’m bagsing mine now.
We’ve only got 700 million addresses left on the old web protocol, which only allows for 4.3 billion addresses. That’s right, 3.6 billion Internet addresses have already been allocated. No wonder it gets a bit slow sometimes.
To avoid the problems caused by running out of addresses, all users will need to migrate to an updated platform: Internet Protocol version 6. But surely it can’t be that hard to upgrade everyone on the internet at the same time? Alright, ready, set… no, hang on, some guy in China’s just got a phone call.
It’s just like the millennium bug all over again! Only this time we really are doomed!
It’s just like the millennium bug all over again! Only this time, the threat is that our computers are going to be fine, no data is going to be lost, and, for most people, life is pretty much going to continue as normal! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It’s just like the millennium bug all over again! Only this time, the threat is that our fridge won’t be able to talk to our car! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It’s about time we got a new Internet. This old one’s filled up with rubbish.
I just knew the Internet would be obsolete sooner or later! / I knew it was only a matter of time before the Internet was obsolete!
The current Internet’s around 30 years old. Face it, it’s about time Grandpa got put down.
The current Internet’s around 30 years old. From where I’m coming from, 30’s an age of youthful vigour!
The new improved Internet will allow 340 trillion trillion trillion distinct addresses, more than there are grains of sand on Earth. But in case they ever all want to get wired, we’ll be ready. / But when all that sand wants to browse the web, we’ll be ready!
The new protocol includes 340 trillion trillion trillion addresses – more than there are grains of sand in the world. Which should be plenty, at least until sand wants to get wired. / until they introduce cyber-sand. / unless you want to download a beach.
Because what the Internet really needs is to be a hundred thousand trillion trillion times larger. Give or take.
The current protocol only allows for 4.3 billion individual IP addresses, but the IPv6 will allow for 340 trillion trillion trillion. You never know when 100 trillion trillion trillion won’t be enough. / They’re cautiously optimistic that that should be enough. / Hey, 4 billion probably sounded like overkill at some point.
The new Internet protocol will allow up to 340 trillion trillion trillion distinct addresses, and no more than 100 trillion trillion trillion of them will be dedicated to promoting Viagra.
Not only are we running out of internet addresses, but spam is running out of euphemisms for “enlarge your penis”.
But surely they’ve known about this problem for years! For geeks, they sure don’t think much about the future.
You’d’ve thought the computer geeks would’ve known about this problem for years. Unfortunately, they only know about those parts of the future that involve the Klingons. / Cybermen.
