Parliament just keeps getting crasser. Labor backbencher Nick Champion said that Malcolm Turnbull’s refusal to rule out a return to Work Choices was like “a fart in an elevator”. That’s assuming anyone would get into an elevator with Malcolm Turnbull in the first place.
But describing Turnbull’s silence as like a “fart in an elevator” is no way to get him to talk. He’s that popular either way.
As shown in this photo, Joe Hockey went on the attack, challenging the government to “pull his finger”.
Many MPs are complaining about an excess of “unparliamentary language”. It’s not so much words like “shit”, “fart” and “bastard”, but words like “legislation”. / “bills”, “legislation” and “order”.
Our politicians seem to be less concerned with good policy and more concerned with finding a filthy insult they can hurl at their colleagues. Of course, to most of us, “fart” is a much less insulting word than “politician”.
Not only are politicians swearing and insulting each other more these days, but some of them have even been caught using pressure points. / a pretty nasty eye gouge.
Let’s just take away all the pretenses, give them wrestling outfits, and get ready to rummmmmmmmmmble!
Tony Abbott declared that the government had “verbal diarrhoea” and that Julia Gillard was wearing a “shit-eating grin”. So at least they’re dealing with their own waste. / Now that’s renewable efficiency.
Tony Abbott knows all about shit-eating grins. After all, as he said twice before the last election, “shit happens”. And someone has to eat it.
All these insults and all this shouting – in any other workplace, it would get you sacked.
Parliament’s always been a house of tantrums, but we’ve suddenly had a barrage of rude gestures and rude words. Those guys sure do get surly when someone threatens to de-perk them.
Ah, our politicians are so eloquent. They’re just like Abraham Lincoln – if he’d been raised by pigs.
Ah, the great political speeches of our country. We don’t get “yes we can!”, we don’t get “we shall fight them on the beaches” – we get “shit-eating elevator-farts”.
When our politicians shake your hand, just make sure you don’t pull their fingers.
There’s clearly two approaches to leadership. One is to get the best minds of your generation to make important well-thought decisions that influence the country in the best possible way they can. And the other is to get a bunch of drunken out-of-touch old yobbos to call each other names. / to act like Grade 2 kids in the school yard.
I say let’s scrap the whole parliamentary debate thing, and make the bastards wrestle in oil. Not only will that make question time more interesting, but our politicians will be forced to act a little more maturely. And learn how to piledrive!
Of course, if they were actually worried about parliamentary conduct, couldn’t they have a ban on insults and swearing? Of course, that would leave many politicians with nothing to say.
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. And that’s why so many of our politicians just sit there in silence.
Politicians from both major parties say they will support any good policy, so long as it is able to be turned into a filthy insult.
I’ve got to admit it would be much more entertaining if our two major parties were called “The Elevator-Farters” and “The Shit-Eaters”. I wouldn’t know who to vote for! / And I’d be more inclined to vote for them.
The opposition have called for a series of reforms to improve question time. Although they can make the most effective improvement without any reforms – just stick a rag in Tony Abbott’s mouth.
The opposition have called for a series of reforms to improve question time. Primarily giving them a turn at being the government again.
It’s getting hard for Tony Abbott. He only gets in the papers if he says the word “shit”. And anything ruder is going to offend his God.
