Now this is a great idea. Tim Flannery reckons that to slow global warming we should fill the sky with sulphur, which will block the sun’s rays, but which might have terrible side-effects, and will change the colour of the sky. How about, instead, we all ride bikes and use solar and wind power? I know, I know, that just sounds crazy. / I know, I know, what a loony idea. You’re right – let’s go back to the one where we fill our stratosphere with SULPHUR.
And if sulphur doesn’t work, perhaps we can use DDT.
It’s either that or poison ourselves directly.
Luckily, there’s sulphur in most fuel exhausts – so get drivin’, people! / so do your bit, and burn something!
Tim Flannery has proposed a radical solution to climate change which may change the colour of the sky. Or we could just move planets. / Or just move the Earth a teensy bit further away from the sun.
That’s his solution to everything. He just has this thing against blue.
That’s his solution to everything. Interest rates up again? Let’s change the colour of the sky! The wife’s left you for your best friend? Sky dye! Sky dye! Just stubbed your toe? LET’S FILL THE AIR WITH SULPHUR!!!
For too long we’ve been looking at the climate crisis through rose-coloured glasses. Flannery just wants to cut out the glasses.
First he publishes a book called “We Are The Weather Makers”, now he wants to change the colour of the sky? God complex, anyone?
Flannery’s plan is to insert sulphur into the stratosphere, which would cause global dimming. In other words counteracting all the shit in the air by filling it with some other shit.
Flannery’s plan is to insert sulphur into the stratosphere, which would cause global dimming. Which is perhaps the dimmest idea of all.
Sure, sulphur in the air creates acid rain, but, hey, we’re in a drought anyway.
It’ll be great for battery farmers – acid rain is really good for growing batteries.
But, what could more suit a post-apocalyptic world of terror and war than a yellow sky with clouds of acid rain?
Thank goodness we have great environmental spokesmen like Tim Flannery to propose filling the air with pollutants or we could all be doomed!
So this insane idea is the best solution that Australia’s most respected climate spokesman can come up with. We may as well kill ourselves now.
An alternate solution is for us to all start using CFC-based aerosols again. If it hadn’t been for those damn environmentalists, global warming would never have been a problem!
He says it’s the “last barrier to a climate collapse”. Because the idea of using solar, wind and wave energy is just the demented raving of leftie communist homosexual conspiracy-theory right-wing terrorists.
Now, for those of you who didn’t know, sulphur is the smell we associate with stinkbombs, rotten eggs, garlic breath, and leaking septic tanks. I think I’d actually prefer a bit of global warming. / …it makes global warming look like a pretty good option.
By filling the air with sulphur, not only will the sky change colour, but the whole world will smell nice and stinky.
Flannery would prefer a world that stinks like rotten eggs to a world that is warmer, more tropical, and has more beaches… It’s simply Unaustralian.
If we’re willing to dye the sky with sulphur, why not just build a roof that covers the entire world? Not only would it block out the sun’s harmful rays, but think of all the solar panels you could pop up there! / but think of the rainwater you could collect! / but you could hang a piñata anywhere. / but then we’d all be housemates! Feel the love!
Satan reckons it’s a top idea. / The plan has got a big thumbs up from Lucifer. / Apparently Flannery got the idea from a guy called Lucifer.
Ah, a sulphurous sky. Just one step closer to making this place Hell On Earth. / The last step in making this place exactly like Hell.
Once we have a sulphurous sky, all we need to do is arm everyone with pitchforks, and set the world on fire. Hell on Earth! Hooray! / And then I can rule from my throne of skulls. MOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
He reckons we should change the colour of the sky, and fill the stratosphere with sulphur. Then, once we’ve made a lake of fire and a palace of human skulls, he will RULE!
Flannery confessed the idea would have other unknown risks, but it would be worth it, to finally get rid of that lame baby-blue colour. He wants a sky with balls.
It will be worth acid rain and other unknown risks, just to get rid of that sky blue colour. So gay.
Flannery confessed the idea would have other unknown risks, but wouldn’t it be worth it, to be able to change the colour of the sky?
He reckons we should change the colour of the sky. And a couple of new moons’d be nice too. / And some cool looking rings, like Saturn. Oh, and how about another moon?
Dying the sky would add a whole new dimension to skywriting – you could make it full colour!
Flannery insists that it’d be to combat global warming, and has nothing to do with terraforming the planet to make it suitable for inhabitation by the Reptilians from Sirius. Nothing at all. / It’s a total coincidence. / There’s no such thing, anyway. Ha ha ha.
