Centrebet have begun taking wagers on the unemployment figures. At long last you can bet on something you have a vested interest in.
Hey, you’ve got to spend your dole on something.
Finally – Centrebet and Centrelink can work together!
You can actually get a pretty good estimate by counting the number of people in the queues at Centrebet.
And if you gamble your entire dole cheque, you stand to win enough money to live on!
It’s bad enough betting on the unemployed, but it’s worse when you handicap them. / Although it’s not very PC to only bet on people that are handicapped.
Being employed is now like being in a horse race. Unfortunately, if you fall down and injure yourself, you get taken away and shot.
Though if it gets to the end of the month and you think you might have guessed a smidge high, get yourself sacked.
It’s all fine, until Centrebet announces a raft of retrenchments to avoid paying out on a favourite.
Reserve Bank Governor Glenn Stevens recently signalled that Australia’s recovery from the recession may be speedier than expected. In fact he’s betting on it.
Now your CV doubles as a form guide.
How Aussie! The rest of the world sees global disaster – we see the chance for a quick flutter!
I love this country! When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse sweep in to destroy the world, I just know Aussies will be setting up a sweepstake.
Not only can you bet on the unemployment figures, but you can bet on how many people will end up broke when they lose everything to gambling! The odds are looking good…
Not only can you bet on the unemployment figures, but they’ve also opened a book on swine flu casualties, environmental disasters, and terrorist attacks! If you’re a gamblin’ man, the fun never stops!
Hey Swannie, you want to get the budget out of deficit? Just throw a few billion down on the right unemployment figure! Come on, surely a half-decent Treasurer would know.
Wayne Swan issued a statement that unemployed people would have to wait for their latest dole payments – he’s expecting a big payout.
Centrebet admitted the betting was “somewhat socially sensitive”, but at least it gave dole bludgers something to do.
Of course you know what’s going to happen. Someone’s going to get a job and lose a fortune.
Now that’s a sport we can all be a part of. Bludger-racing!
Hopefully the unemployment gambling doesn’t take over horse-race betting in popularity, or there’ll be a lot of jockeys out of work. Of course, we can bet on that too!
Finally, the jockeys can bet on us!
Now when you’re applying for a job, you don’t have to attach references, but you do need a form guide. / but you do need to tell what your handicap is. / but you do need to tell them how you perform on a wet track.
