Armenian priests have kicked a Greek priest out of the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and, when police arrived, beat them with palm fronds. No! Not the fronds!
With fronds like these, who needs rosaries?
Fortunately no fists were used – palms only.
It’s obviously a freak event. I’ve never heard of one religion persecuting someone from another religion before.
The Armenians kicked the Greek monk out of the church, all the while chanting and jeering. Or maybe that’s just how they pray.
It all happened on Palm Sunday. Lucky it wasn’t Fist Tuesday, or Weekend of the Plank of Wood. / or Weekend of the Glasgow Kiss. / or HeadButt Thursday. / or Kneecap Week.
The priests are fighting over the site where Jesus was buried and was resurrected. I suppose it’s a form of worship.
Surely it’s simple to share the church? Religious nutters in blue on the left, religious nutters in black on the right.
(mime bashing with fronds) “I’m more holy!” “No, I’m more holy!”
It’s just a re-enactment of Christ rising from the dead and bashing up the pigs.
It’s just like on Palm Sunday, when all Christ’s followers bashed him with fronds.
The Armenian worshippers said that the Greek priest deliberately violated the long-established “status quo” by entering during Armenian observances. The Armenians were praying direct to Christ for guidance in their battles against the Greek priests.
The Armenian priests have released a press release claiming that they weren’t being violent at all – it was just a very moving sermon. / it’s just how they pray. / it was just a re-enactment of a passage in the bible they were reading about smiting.
The Armenian priests have released a press release rejecting the claims they were out of line. “Seriously, it was just a little smiting. God does it all the time.”
And you should’ve seen the monk getting the shit kicked out of him on Good Friday!
Appropriately enough it happened on Palm Sunday, and was not nearly as bad as when on Good Friday the priests crucified each other.
The priests were just giving each other Season’s Beatings.
It’s the Armenian priests I feel sorry for. What sort of a weapon is a palm frond?
Only the truly holy can have a punch-up in Christ’s tomb.
The Armenian and Greek churches have an agreed status quo over worship rights at the holy site of the Prince of Peace, and anyone who violates it will get bashed.
As Christ himself said, “If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him and bash him with plants.” / and thump him.”
They figure it’s OK to have brawls on the site of the resurrection, since if anyone gets killed they’ll just come back to life.
The two branches have very similar beliefs, right down to the site of Christ’s tomb. They’re just still fighting over whether blue or black robes look better.
In anyone else’s tomb it would probably be disrespectful, but luckily Christ got out early.
Not only did they kick out the priest, but they bashed the bishop and spanked the monk. (What a bunch of wankers.)
I haven’t seen so much bishop-bashing since I was 13.
Turns out they were fighting over the altar-boy.
They’re fighting over who gets to bless the next strip-club.
Similar brawls have broken out at the Church of the Holy Sepultura, where Greek Orthodox priests were kicked out by fans of 90’s Brazilian thrash-metal.
