A US study shows long-distance relationships are more stable than geographically close ones. In fact the best way to ensure your relationship lasts is to never see each other at all. Hence the popularity of Internet dating.
Couples who see each other every day and do daily chores together can simply get bored of each others’ company, and tend to fight over the same things again and again. With long-distance relationships, there are new things to fight about every time you see each other!
Couples who live in different cities or states find that their relationship is much less likely to be ruined by infidelity. Their partners are much less likely to find out.
Not only do you not get bored with seeing your partner day after day, but you can have a much more varied sex life…
Couples who live far apart seek to spend more time together, talk about their partner more, and find it much easier to hide their numerous affairs…
Couples who aren’t together a lot don’t get sick of each other as quickly. The same survey also reported that the sky is blue, night follows day, and that the kneebone’s connected to the shin bone.
Couples who live far apart seek to spend more time together. And couples who live together yearn to spend more time apart. Humans are funny, aren’t they.
One reason why couples who live apart have a closer bond is that they yearn to spend more time together. Well, when you live together 24-7, it’s a bit hard to yearn to spend more time together isn’t it? These researchers should get to grips with simple logic.
Couples in the same town do get bored with each other, but at least you get to have sex. During which they can fantasise about their non-boring long-distance lover. Best of both worlds.
To stop the boredom, couples living together are now pretending to be miles apart; dialling their area code first, writing each other yearning letters and racking up huge room service bills at hotels.
The longer the distance the better. I tell my girlfriend I’m on Jupiter.
The long-distance relationship is very popular in Antarctica…
Long-distance relationships lead to long-distance marriage, which of course leads to long-distance children… which are much easier to look after.
Fans of the long-distance relationship have moved on to having long-distance friends, owning long-distance pets, and living many kilometres from home…
People in long-distance relationships are also more likely to wear something that really reminds them of their soul mate: like their skiddy undies or a used condom.
Long distance relationships do work; just ask Warnie. He’s got heaps!
Over 75% of those surveyed said that their long-distance partner was Paris Hilton…
One problem with long-distance relationships is that it does make you more inclined to bash hotel staff on the head with telephones…
When further questioned, many of the people who claimed to have long-distance relationships admitted that their relationships were so long-distance, they hadn’t actually ever made contact. More interrogation revealed they were friendless Schnedleys, and a few more questions left them blubbering on the floor crying for their mummies.
The happiest couples are the ones who haven’t made any contact at all. After that first meeting, it’s all downhill…
Long-distance relationships certainly seem to work between writers and their bosses, don’t they. I mean, look at this. We could never give you this rubbish if we had to look you in the eye.
