Indian Runner Ducks have been setting off security alarms at the royal family’s Scottish summer estate. The seven ducks, owned by Prince Charles, trigger the recently upgraded security system day and night – and zealous security guards have been picking them off… and only four little ducks came back.
Seven little ducks went out one day
In the grounds of the royal famil-ae
Gunfire went ack-ack-ack-ack
And only three little ducks came back…
The security guards let the intruders go when they found out they were only ducks. Well, they said they were ducks…
To disperse the ducks, security tried spraying them with a high-pressure hose, but the water slid off them like… well, you know.
“At first we thought they were terrorists,” said the head of security. “Turns out they were just wearing fake beards.”
The Indian Runner Ducks favoured by Prince Charles are so-called because they run rather than waddle. They’re like regular ducks with ADD.
Their diet of worms, slugs and insects makes them ideal for pest control, and since they love nibbling on grass they also double as lawn mowers. Or strap four of them together for a nifty ironing board. So versatile!
Their diet of worms, slugs and insects makes them ideal for pest control, and since they love nibbling on grass they also double as lawn mowers. And I hear they’re also great for target practice.
Their diet of worms, slugs and insects makes them ideal for pest control, and since they love nibbling on grass they also double as lawn mowers. All this and they still taste great with orange sauce.
When the sensors first went off, guards suspected fowl play… but now they’re quacking down – signs have been installed on the grounds saying “DUCK OFF”…
Three of the ducks are thought to be operatives for al Quackeda…
The sensors have been made extra-sensitive in order to detect small web-footed terrorists. “We should have thought a bit harder about that, I guess.”
Runner ducks are so-called because when they break into a palace and steal all the jewels they do a runner.
One thief used the ducks as cover while he snuck into the royal estate. When security guards cornered him, laden with royal jewels, he said “Er… Quack?”
Several members of the royal family have been seen pecking at breadcrumbs and flapping their wings. Although they may actually be ducks.
