A 4.5 metre crocodile, dubbed Croczilla, was captured lurking near a Cape York Peninsula school. Or, as the croc thinks of it, “an all-you-can-eat buffet”. / “a restaurant”. / “the best butcher in town”.
The croc they caught is 4.5 metres long and weighs 500 kilos – and you should see the one that got away!
For the kids, being eaten was an extra-crocular activity.
Teachers feared every croculum day.
The kids were told there was a giant lizard lurking around the school, but they all thought it was a total croc.
Kids from the Injinoo state school would have called the stalking croc in earlier, but they thought it was just a disciplinary measure.
The teachers would have got rid of the croc earlier, but it was really working at keeping the kids in school. / but it really helped cut down on truancy. / but it worked heaps better than detention.
The school would have tried to get rid of Croczilla earlier, but he was one of their best students. / he was an A student. / he was always so attentive in class.
The headmaster was said to be disappointed to hear about the croc’s capture. He’d been working better than the strap.
At the Injinoo State School, bad students get expelled – from a crocodile’s sphincter.
Croczilla is being sent off to stud at a north Queensland croc farm where he faces a life of luxury dining on fish, chicken and pork. Still, it’s no substitute for the tasty flesh of a manchild.
Croczilla is being sent off to stud at a north Queensland croc farm where he faces a life of luxury dining on fish, chicken, pork, and wayward children.
Croczilla is being sent off to stud at a north Queensland croc farm where he faces a life of luxury dining on fish, chicken and pork, and up to four female partners at a time. That’ll teach him to try to eat our children! / That’ll learn him – stay away from our kiddies!
Croczilla is being sent off to stud at a north Queensland croc farm where he faces a life of luxury dining on fish, chicken and pork, and up to four female partners at a time. They’re hoping to breed some more impressive crocs with a taste for manflesh. / They’re hoping to breed more similar sized crocs that Daddy can teach to hunt kiddies. / So to any crocs watching tonight, hunting children really pays off!
They’ve caught three crocodiles over 2 metres in a single trap over a couple of weeks. They just can’t resist that cheese. / And several children to use as bait.
He’s named Croczilla due to his size and fire-breathing. / immense size and atomic breath.
Now out to stud with a harem for company, Croczilla’s embarking on a hip-hop career: “Croczilla, the killa, from Cape York to Manilla, my bitches get their fill-a, but my taste sure ain’t vanilla, check the manchild on my grilla…”
They’re catching so many crocs up there that you can order one by phone: it’s called Dial-a-croc…
They also caught smaller crocs, but let them back into the wild – to plan their next attack. / to plot revenge. / to grow into child-eating monsters. / to have another crack at their children.
Croczilla’s been hunting human children ever since Steve Irwin dangled that baby in front of him.
They’ve caught three crocs in the last few weeks: not just Croczilla, but also Croc Kong and the Crockie Monster.
It’s scary growing up in Cape York. Not only did they have to deal with Croczilla, but last year the school was scaled by a giant ape. / was attacked by giant robots. / was besieged by zombies.
