A Russian clown has been told he can no longer wear giant clown shoes in Britain because they pose a safety risk. And that humourous nose could have someone’s eye out.
A Russian clown has been told he can no longer wear giant clown shoes in Britain because they pose a safety risk. Plus, that’s McDonalds’ trademark.
And the Health and Safety Advisor says the clown shoes will remain outlawed until McDonalds sues.
A Russian clown has been told he can no longer wear giant clown shoes in Britain because they pose a safety risk. And the flame-throwing lapel-flower’s got to go too. / But he can keep the flame-thrower. / They’re also not too keen on his cream-pies filled with razor-blades.
Stilts must be no higher than regular shoes, and all unicycles should be equipped with two wheels.
From now on, it’s one clown per car.
And, to prevent spillage, clowns must now use a covered trolley to transport all cream pies.
Acrobats should be performing their death-defying stunts on the ground, and, instead of a swinging on a life-threatening trapeze, perhaps they should just walk.
And don’t get them started on the knife throwers!
It was so distressing, he pumped buckets of tears. / the tears just pumped to his eyes.
It made him so upset and distracted, he slipped on a banana peel, fell face-first into a cream pie, and ended up facing the wrong way on the back an elephant. Poor guy.
A Russian clown has been told he can no longer wear giant clown shoes because they pose a safety risk. Particularly since they were steel-capped.
It wasn’t just the size of the shoes that had the authorities worried – it was the way he uses them to kick the lion-tamer’s head in. / the kiddies’ heads in.
Clown shoes are problematic for many reasons: health and safety officers say they’re a safety risk, and human resources say it discriminates against the club-footed.
Those clown shoes ARE a risk, particularly if the lion-tamer is substandard. / especially if you have to run for your life as a result of your substandard lion-tamer.
And to prevent lice, the bearded lady now has to shave.
And if you must have a tightrope, please, lie it on the ground. / And, after all, wouldn’t the tight-rope be a lot safer if it was laid on the ground? Think, people, think – safety first!
His routine includes dressing himself whilst walking on a wire, dress himself within a hoop of fire, and playing a drum-kit, trumpet and double-bass all at the same time. But it’s definitely the shoes that are the risky bit.
And to protect the public, all circuses are now being ordered to perform in private.
Turns out death-defying is an Occupational Health and Safety NIGHTMARE. / Unicycles, fire-twirling, tight-ropes – I never realised, but circuses are an OHS NIGHTMARE!
Not only are the long shoes dangerous, but the squeaky nose presents a high risk of nasal infection, the make-up can clog the pores and lead to skin infections, and the wacky hair is a fire hazard. In fact, it is now recommended that clowns wear smart casual clothes, sensible footwear, and start acting like grownups.
And lion tamers will have to make do with waving chairs at kittens.
He’s afraid that his regular-sized footwear will lose impact on his audience. Especially if he falls on them again. / He says that with normal-sized shoes “the impact might be lost on the audience”. Especially if he falls on them again.
His problem now is finding regular shoes that fit his enormous bulbous feet.
Rather than throwing cream pies at each other, clowns will now have to serve them with a fork and spoon. Hilarious!
He was told he couldn’t wear the giant shoes after he fell off a high-wire and broke his foot. Which is a shame, since his bandaged foot didn’t fit in a regular shoe.
After breaking his foot he was told that the giant shoes were a health risk and he’d have to wear regular shoes. Luckily, with a broken foot, regular shoes are giant!
After the enormous-footwear threat was discovered, occupational health and safety officers have moved on to target the real criminals – shoe retailers.
Occupational health and safety officers are also closing down all fire stations. Someone might get hurt!
