September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, the perfect day to send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies, spend the night masturbating, and cry yourself to sleep.
September 17th has been declared National Singles Day, so send yourself flowers, buy yourself choccies or treat yourself to a night alone with just the one of you. / with the only special someone you’ve got. You. / with your special someone – sweet, mindnumbing alcohol.
National Singles Day convenor Evan Diacopoulos said he hoped singles would use the day as an opportunity to meet prospective partners. So misanthropes who just want to be left alone will still have to create their own day.
National Singles Day convenor Evan Diacopoulos said he hoped singles would use the day as an opportunity to meet prospective partners. And hopefully he’ll get lucky so he won’t have to sit through another one of these miserable reminders of his loneliness.
The day aims to encourage singles to take part in events and activities and hopefully talk to someone they’re attracted to. So they’ll know the day’s a huge success if no-one wants to turn up next year.
He felt singles were a bit left out, what with Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. But then again, if you’re single, what day can’t you treat yourself special?
National Singles Day convenor Evan Diacopoulos said he hoped singles would use the day as an opportunity to meet prospective partners, thus depriving themselves of that special day. He’s tricky, that Evan.
It’s like the National Shoot Yourself Day he tried to start up a few years back. Lasted one year.
The day aims to encourage singles to take part in events and activities and hopefully talk to someone they’re attracted to. May every single single mingle!
Couples may feel so left out that they have to console themselves with a whole day of wild, passionate lovemaking.
Singles Day – the perfect day to listen to your favourite singles, drink a single-malt scotch, eat a Kraft Single and single out the single reason you’re single. Or just watch “The Odd Couple”. / Or just play with your dingle.
There are lots of ways to celebrate – keep a whole box of chocolates to yourself, trample on a bunch of flowers, or simply shoot your ex.
Meanwhile, unattached people with speech impediments could celebrate Thingles Day or Shingles Day, which admittedly don’t sound as fun.
Diacopoulos hopes that if he gets enough singles together he can put out a compilation album.
Diacopoulos also sells badges which read “Yes I am Single” for the modest sum of $22.95. Though if you’re going to pay 23 bucks for a badge, maybe there’s a good reason you’re single.
Diacopoulos says the badges reading “YiS.com.au” are an unobtrusive way to advertise to other interested people that you are available. Though I say they’re a way to get you to pay 23 bucks to advertise his website.
The 23 dollar “Yes I am Single” badges provide a subtle sign to encourage approaches from others, along with a sharp pin for discouraging again.
He’s hoping ‘Singles Day’ works. He’s so far had no luck with ‘B.O. Day’, ‘Mingin Week’ or ‘Month of Fuglies’.
He’s hoping ‘Singles Day’ works. When he organised ‘National Shy Day’, no-one turned up.
