An American shoplifter is behind bars after being caught on camera smuggling a 24-can slab of beer between her thighs. But the joke’s on the authorities. They still haven’t found the second slab. / still haven’t found where she hid the second slab.
And you should see where she hid the longnecks.
She would have got away with it too, except her midget boyfriend was down there making slurping noises.
She got overambitious. Surely it was enough to have smuggled out so many packets of beef jerky?
She only did it for the thighbuys.
That six-pack she snuck out in her bra just wasn’t enough.
She was unlucky that the store camera caught her stealing the slab. She had her slabby shuffle down pat.
She may not be all that smart, but she’s a criminal masterthighs.
It wasn’t easy to carry the slab out between her legs. She had to put down her kids. / put down the pool table.
She was actually intending to pay for the beers. With her hairy chequebook.
She was quite surprised. She thought everyone carried their beers between their legs. And didn’t pay for them.
She couldn’t help it. When she gets thirsty thighs, they won’t be argued with.
Apart from trying to smuggle a slab of beer between her thighs, she’s really a model citizen. / she’s actually the perfect mother.
The store replaced the beer on the pile. And boy, did it have some tales to tell its mates.
They apprehended her before she got to the carpark, but still aren’t sure how she’d already drunk two cans.
Her boyfriend had always said her thighs were a bit slabby.
She only stashed the stolen goods between her legs because her boyfriend wasn’t there. Normally, they’d just use his sack.
Really, under your dress seems the perfect place to stash your booty.
She wasn’t actually trying to steal anything. She’d just run out of tampons.
The woman has a long history of crimes, and criminal aliases. But perhaps it’s a bit of a give-away calling yourself “Beera McThighs”. / “Tweenie Leggsington-Beers”. / “Steelia Lager-Tweenmethighs.”
She had a long criminal history – ever since she was a teenager smuggling out Barcadi breezers in her fanny pack.
She can be seen stuffing the beers up her dress on the shop’s security footage. Yet another triumph for the shop’s hidden upskirt cameras! / The shop is so thankful it ended up installing those illegal up-skirt cameras.
You think that looks awkward, you should’ve seen her walk AFTER she’d drunk the slab.
She succeeded in getting the slab home. It was the second slab that did her in – her knees just lost all their grip.
She still thinks it’s a better method than balancing them on your head.
It makes sense she was smuggling beers between her legs – she had a party in her pants, and everyone was invited.
Having someone yank away beers from between your legs can damage the cellulite on your upper legs. The woman now has a bad case of smuggle-struggle high-thigh slab-flab stash-rash.
