The Japanese space agency has developed a new kind of underwear, which can be worn for a week before needing a wash. This is amazing news – undies need washing?
The Japanese space agency has developed a new kind of underwear, which can be worn for a week before needing a wash. Pah – I had those kind of undies back when I was a uni student.
Not only do they not need washing as often, but they’re fire resistant. For when things get HOTT.
The undies are also fire-resistant. Finally, the perfect undergarment to wear when lighting your farts.
The undies are also fire-resistant. So finally, you can relax while you’re setting fire to your stray pubes. / while you’re burning away your bikini line. / while you’re having a little backburn in your personal undergrowth.
The undies are also fire-resistant, to help protect your bush.
The underwear is also designed to kill bacteria. Which wouldn’t be so good for me – with some of my undies, it’s only the bacteria holding them together.
The undies are designed to absorb water, and dry quickly. You can actually wash them with your own sweat! / You can actually wash them while you’re still wearing them – with your own urine!
They are also designed to insulate the body. In fact, you can survive in the Antarctica just by pulling them over your head! It could be the only time an atomic wedgie saves your life.
The undies are also anti-static. So you can rub your crotch up against balloons for as long as you like. (Or, if you prefer, balloon animals.)
The undies are also anti-static. Perfect for those occasions when you want to dry-hump a balloon.
The undies are pretty cool, but if they came with an esky and a satellite dish, they’d be PERFECT. / but they’d be perfect if they came with a built-in bottle-opener, a stubby holder, and a quick handjob.
They’re working on a pair that come with a built-in tissue dispenser.
The undies are fantastic, but, in a disappointing revelation to men everywhere, apparently you still might have to wear other clothes. / but they still can’t wash your dishes. / but they won’t get you laid.
They kill bacteria, are anti-static, work as insulation, and come already pre-stuffed with socks.
The undies are also anti-static. So when someone removes your underwear, they won’t get such a bad shock.
The undies are also anti-static. Which is great news – I know that, whenever a girl removes my undies, she always gets a big shock. / the shock of her life.
They kill bacteria, are anti-static, and work as insulation – and, as if that wasn’t enough, if you wear them on your head, they make you look like a fucken idiot!
They’re now working on a model with anti-lock braking, to help reduce skidding.
And, due to popular demand, they’re now working on a model with built-in viagra.
Apparently, they’ve also developed a technique which enables you to never change your undies AT ALL. They call it “not wearing any”.
