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Spanish law to rule out sexism (The Glass House 6/7/05)

The article in question is here.

Spain is outlawing sexism, passing new legislation forcing husbands and wives to equally share housework, childrearing and care of the elderly. Spanish husbands have reacted with outrage, and will be protesting against it just as soon as they finish the ironing.

Unfortunately the new laws are pretty hard to enforce. The Spanish have had to introduce a new “sexism police” squad. And let me tell you, those chicks in uniform are hot hot hot!

The Spanish MP who championed the reform said Spanish women were “too clean, and weren’t good enough at moaning”. She’s submitted another bill to parliament to rectify that, the Dirty Moaning Whore Bill.

The Spanish MP who championed the reform said Spanish women were “too clean, and weren’t good enough at moaning”. Well that was what her husband told her last time they were in bed together.

Technological changes are also being implemented to help turn the tide of sexism. The latest washing machine, called Your Turn, uses fingerprint technology to prevent the same person using the machine twice in a row. So that means when a woman goes away on a business trip, after the first wash their husband has a good excuse for living in their own filth.

The latest washing machine, called Your Turn, uses fingerprint technology to prevent the same person using the machine twice in a row. So now a Spanish guy can get his mum and his wife to take turns…

Spanish women spend a daily average of six hours on housework and six hours on child-rearing, while the men average just 44 minutes and 51 minutes. But they do spend at least six hours a day nagging their wives to do the housework…

Now men have to wash the clothes, prepare half the meals, and menstruate every second month…

Spanish women have to mow half the lawns, contribute 50% to the gambling and drinking money, and shave their faces. So life as usual…

Wives are now also allowed equal time hanging out at building sites wolf-whistling at passing hotties, and goosing arses in nightclubs…

Chorizo, the renowned Spanish sausage, has now been joined by Chorizetta, a specially prepared Spanish beaver…

Chorizo, the renowned Spanish sausage, has now been joined by Chorizetta, a delicious dish of delicately spiced Spanish flaps.

Now, for every bullfight, there must be a cowfight too. Not always so action-packed. “Mooooo.” “C’mon Daisy! Where’s your fire?” “Mooooo.” (You can milk this one for as long as you want… eh?)

Now, for every bullfight, there must be a cowfight too. Not always so action-packed. It’s just cow-tipping with spears.

A female equivalent of the world-famous aphrodisiac, Spanish Fly, has been introduced. It’s called Spanish Gusset.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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