And now for some stand-up comedy. A survey of Australian aeroplane travellers has revealed that a small number are willing to stand for cheaper international flights. Which is good – there’s all that space on the wings that is going begging.
As long as flights are cheaper, passengers are happy to have less. Some wanted less food, others were happy to have less in-flight entertainment, but most said they‘d be happy just to have less crashes.
And pretty much everyone was happy to lose that safety mime at the start.
Some passengers were also happy to forgo life jackets. Anything to cut down the safety demonstration.
However, most people insist on still having wings. Fussy.
In fact, for extra cheap tickets, passengers are happy to get out and push.
About 6 percent said in-flight food was unnecessary, while 13 percent would forgo in-flight entertainment. Especially Two and a Half Men.
The passenger of the future will spend a dollar and just get strapped to a plank with wings. / giant paper plane.
53 percent would give up alcohol, particularly if they were flying with Aussie sportsmen.
For a small number of respondents, even seats were considered dispensable. Nice to hear the opinion of the arseless. / After all, the arseless are people too. / Although, granted, they did only conduct the survey among the arseless community. / the buttockly-challenged.
Some passengers said that they could do without life jackets. Mostly passengers from al Qaida.
Some passengers are happy to fly without landing gear! Although, they are mainly from al Qaida.
Some passengers said that they could do without life jackets. That bright yellow really clashes with their shoes.
Some passengers said that they could do without life jackets. Unless the plane crashed.
Some passengers said that they could do without life jackets. They were already dead.
For a small number of respondents, seats, life jackets and even toilets were considered dispensable. Some people were happy to do away with the pilot too, how hard can it be to fly one of these things anyway.
For a small number of respondents, seats, life jackets and even toilets were considered dispensable. In fact, they reckon that whole flying thing is overrated.
The survey found many passengers willing to go without toilets if they get cheaper tickets. Quite frankly, I’m happy to go without those passengers if we get to keep the toilets.
The survey found many passengers willing to go without toilets if they get cheaper tickets. They’re quite happy to piss anywhere.
For a small number of respondents, seats, life jackets and even toilets were considered dispensable. In fact they’d be happy for a catapult.
For a small number of respondents, seats, life jackets and even toilets were considered dispensable. Well, there’s always room in the cargo hold.
For a small number of respondents, seats, life jackets and even toilets were considered dispensable, which is now being offered in “Convict Class”.
Some are even happy to fly without hot air stewardesses. Although not passengers who fly with Virgin.
Virgin passengers wanted less skirt on the the air hostesses. And for that, they were even willing to pay more.
Qantas said they would continue to insist that all passengers had seats, though on certain flights they would fling them out of them.
Move down the back of the fuselage! We can’t see the in-flight entertainment up here!
The survey, by internet flight company Travelzoo, found a high level of support for an actual travel zoo.
The survey was of subscribers to internet flight company Travelzoo, and found that several had signed up in the hopes of being treated like animals.
13 percent of passengers said they would willingly forgo in-flight entertainment for a cheaper airfare. They find the other passengers amusing enough. / They can make the entertainment of the safety demonstration last all flight. / They’d be entertained enough by the standing room passengers falling on each other.
Forgoing in-flight entertainment should be able to save money, as they wouldn’t have to pay for the equipment, royalties, presenters or lugging the production studio around on each flight.
Some passengers said they’d not only be happy to stand, they’d even do the flapping.
More than 25 percent said they weren’t willing to give up anything for cheaper airfares. To satisfy them, the airlines will just have to cut back on fuel and safety.
More than 25 percent said they weren’t willing to give up anything for cheaper airfares. And there was no way anyone was touching their sandwich.
More than 25 percent said they weren’t willing to give up anything for cheaper airfares. So they’ll have to swim.
