A TV series is about to be launched on British television about Muslim superheroes. As soon as they work out who the villains can be.
And following the Mohammad cartoon scandal, “The 99” are the first comic book superheroes to crack down on comic books!
I’m not saying they’re not as good as Western superheroes. But, well, we didn’t need 99 Supermen.
Although at certain times of the day, the bad guys can get the better of them by standing away from Mecca.
Holy Muslims, Batman! / Holy war, Batman!
There’s a character in a burka – Batina the Hidden! She’s super-oppressed!
There’s a character in a burka – Batina the Hidden! She’s not only hidden, she isn’t allowed to drive! / Her super powers include staying covered up, staying indoors, and not being allowed to drive!
It’s great to see someone going against the much-seen “all muslims are terrorists” paradigm, and depicting a small group of Muslim characters working outside the law to fight the Great Evil.
The show is being produces as an alternative set of role models for young Muslim kids. And what better role models than a small bunch of religious vigilantes with secret identities who blow things up to fight the Great Evil.
It’s a great idea. If there’s one thing that really encourages kids to think outside the simplistic notions of Good and Evil, it’s superhero comics.
The characters battle with a fictional supercriminal known only as “Osama”.
Though after September 11, it’s perhaps insensitive to ask about a Muslim superhero “Is it a plane?”
“Is it a plane?” “YES!”
It’s a good idea – we get the super-Muslims to fight the evil-Muslims and then we just stay the Hell away.
“The 99” each have one of the 99 attributes of Allah. And Allah is going to double-check by getting a complete set of action figures.
“The 99” each have one of the 99 attributes of Allah. Looks like poor old Able-to-be-Drawn Man misses out.
Of course, Muslim superheroes are all susceptible to the same weakness – exposure to Kryptopork. / virgins.
They were going to include a character based on Mohammad, but for some reason the artists kept spontaneously combusting.
One thing’s for sure, it’s a better read than the Koran. / it’s got better pictures than the Koran.
They were going to do a comic version of the Koran itself, until they realised that one character did all the talking, and you couldn’t even draw the other guy.
There’s even a robot superhero called “MegaMechaMechanoid”.
There’s Explodor, who can reassemble himself after every suicide bombing!
Faster than a speeding carbomb! More powerful than an American strafing! Able to face Mecca with a single bound! Look – in a vast number of different locations! Is it an infidel occupation? Is it an insurgency? No – it’s the 99!
This was bound to happen after the success of “Popeman and the Holy Ghost”.
Based on a popular Middle Eastern comic book, “The 99” TV series will be produced by the same company that produced “Big Brother”. So after every episode, one of Allah’s attributes will be evicted from Heaven.
Finally Muslims being depicted positively in a comic book. Unlike the comic “Dumb Ali Farkha and his Limping Transexual Camel”. Not so positive.
There’s a Christian version as well, called The Three. The superheroes are called the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and they can can all fit together to form a bigger fighting machine – kinda like Voltron. / fit together to make MegaJehovah.
