Doritos are planning to beam an ad into space, to a solar system 42 light years away. Obviously Earth-trade is not what it once was.
This is the dumbest idea ever. Don’t they know aliens prefer CC’s? / only eat pretzels?
You’re never going to attract aliens with an ad for corn chips. Sour cream and chives is more their flavour.
Unfortunately, “Doritos” is Alpha-Centaurian for “come eat us, we are delicious”. / “come eat us, we have soft bones.”
Ironically, it may attract the attention of an alien species called the Doritos, who use carbon-based lifeforms as snack food.
Let’s hope that aliens don’t enjoy human-blood-based salsa.
The ad has turned out to be unsuccessful, since the only aliens they’ve contacted so far prefer their snacks with either nutrition or taste.
Aliens are said to prefer Tangy Cheese flavour. / Tangy Earthling.
The head of the project said “if the first word the aliens say when they land is Doritos, we will be delighted.” No matter how many innocents must be slain in their quest for corn chip satisfaction. / must be slain to slake their thirst for corn chips.
They’re aiming the ad at the Ursa Major constellation, or as they are wanting to rename it, Ursa Major Flavour Burst!
Of course, all ads and programs are actually beamed into space, so there’s nothing particularly notable about the stunt. Although this is the first one they’ve translated.
It was really the only move for the company, now that everyone on Earth is sick of their ads.
What a grand statement about mankind. Our first broadcast to aliens is an ad break.
I don’t want to sound like a nutty conspiracy theorist, but what if the aliens are already here, running chip companies, weakening our defences and the ad will be the final keyword to launch the attack?! We’re DOOOOMED!!
Of course it does increase the chance of alien invasion for our corn chip supply. “TAKE ME TO YOUR NACHOS!” / SALSA!”
The corn chip company are inviting Britons to create the ad, and the winner will be paid 44,000 of your Earth dollars.
The campaign is costing 325 thousand dollars. So either it’s an immense waste of money, or the Doritos company know something we don’t… / the Doritos company knows something that NASA doesn’t…
The campaign is costing 325 thousand bucks. But it’s worth it – the Earth/Alpha Centauri exchange rate has never been better! / But the Doritos company is bargaining on the terrible state of the Ursa Major dollar.
To coincide with the ad, Doritos are launching a new flavour: Earthling. An alien spokesman said they were very moreish.
It’s also been revealed that Twisties actually originate from Mars. / that Burger Rings are originally from Saturn. / Twisties actually originate from another dimension.
The only thing that we can say for sure is that if the aliens from Ursa Major do arrive, they’re going to be majorly hungry.
The ad will really appeal to aliens whose favourite foods are corn chips and/or advertising executives.
Scientists are hoping that one day, if we’re really lucky, we may be invited by a race from a distant planet to buy their junk food.
It’s not known what the alien response to the ad was, as most of them used it as a chance to go to the loo. / as most of them fast-forward through the ad-breaks in their intergalactic messages.
They decided to launch the ad for Doritos because beaming out an ad for “Mars” was just asking for trouble.
It’s all part of an extended campaign. First they send out the ad for Doritos, then they’ll beam out an ad for cheese, an ad for salsa, and an ad for guacamole, and pretty soon the galaxy will be filled with nachos – enough for EVERYONE!
Unfortunately for us, the aliens have plenty of corn-chips already, but they’d kill for some dip.
All the ad does is rub-in the fact that, although they may have superior technology, aliens have no corn-chips.
Of course, this may prompt an intergalactic race of supersnacks to visit our planet to mate with our cornchips.
NASA has now revealed that for decades they’ve been receiving alien messages, trying to sell them Carbonated Bluntch. / trying to sell them Jawa Jerky. / corn-flavoured carbonite. / carbonated carbonite.
NASA has now revealed that for decades they’ve been receiving alien messages, and that they’ve just translated them. Apparently, the aliens are trying to sell us Planet Insurance.
Exactly how this ad is going to bring in revenue is still not certain. Perhaps they’re hoping that, once we realise how monumentally stupid they are, we’ll feel sorry for them and purchase their second-rate snack-food.
Actually, if you’re a silicon-based lifeform from Ursa Major, Doritos don’t taste too bad.
It’s a pretty good idea. In fact I could think of lots of ads I’d like to launch into space, starting with that “puffin muffins” woman.
Why not just cut out the middle man and launch the advertising executives into space. Too easy.
And in thousands of years, zillions of kilometres away, aliens will bow their heads in sorrow as they finally receive the corn-chip-promoting epitaph for Planet Earth.
