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Glass House

The Nude Bomb (The Glass House 11/10/06)

Jamaah Islamiah’s spiritual leader Abu Bakar Bashir has said that naked women are more dangerous than the Bali bombings. If he’d had his way, the Bali bombers would have just packed the Sari Club with hot nude chicks – that’d teach the Western infidels a thing or two!

The Sari Club was full of scantily-clad women. So blowing it up and killing 200 people was just making it less dangerous.

Abu Bakar Bashir says that naked women are more dangerous than the Bali bombings. Maybe he’s got a point: after all, the Sari Club was blown up, while Ahkbar’s House of Ugly Old Men still stands…

Naked chicks might be more dangerous than explosives, but they’re a hell of a lot harder to sneak onto a bus / to hide in your backpack / to strap to your waist / to hide under your burhka.

It’s an insult to Allah! Nude women should only be used as a heavenly reward for suicide bombers!

Nude women are more dangerous than bombs: provide potential suicide bombers with naked girls and you take away their whole reason for jihading / take away half their motivation!

Bashir says watching scantily-dressed women on TV could destroy the faith of a believer. Funny, it’s the only thing that makes me truly believe… / Are you kidding? T and A is the only reason to believe!

According to Bashir, nude women are more dangerous than explosives: imagine naked chicks with bombs! We’d be doomed!

You should see J.I’s new Suicide Strippers! Deadly – and hot as!

Bashir is introducing a new burqua for his female followers. If you take it off, it explodes. / If you take it off, it explodes – everyone’s happy!

Scantily-clad women are more dangerous than explosives: ever wasted all your time and money trying to pick up a cluster bomb? / ever wasted all night trying to chat up a cluster bomb? / ever had a cluster bomb fall pregnant, force you to get married, then nag at you for the rest of your days that you ruined her life and why can’t you get a real job you LAZY BASTARD!!!

Although at least with a bomb you know that at the end of the night you’re going to get a bang.

He’s right: a dirty bomb might blow you to pieces, but a dirty girl can break your heart… and that can last forever.

I disagree. A dirty bomb might blow you to pieces, but a dirty girl might just blow you…

The US has introduced their new weapon against Iraqi insurgents: they’re dropping cluster-babes.

John Howard immediately announced a change to Australia’s counter-terrorism policy. We’re pulling out all our troops and replacing them with the girls from the Men’s Gallery. Let’s see the jihadists cope with that!

Imagine Hiroshima if they’d dropped an Atomic Babe on the place. Sure, maybe everyone would’ve lived, but think of the loose morals they’d have had!

Bashir said he was perplexed by TV channels airing programs with skimpily-dressed women rather than holy programs such as the activities of prayer groups. Yup: Network Abu looks like riveting viewing.

Bashir doesn’t understand that TV is about escapism. For instance, escaping from the prayer meetings…

Abu Bakar has asked Pamela Anderson to star in his new show, Burhkawatch. Apparently she puts it all on!

For the beach-loving muslim extremist, Bashir’s introducing the Burhkini… The more daring ones show a bit of nose!

Bashir would’ve hated the Garden of Eden… / Apparently the Garden of Eden was worse than World War 2!

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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