Security camera footage has captured Russell Crowe’s hotel lobby outburst – and shown that throwing a phone was just the beginning. After the phone-throwing, Rusty followed up by hurling a ceramic vase, before taking a theatrical bow and assuming a karate stance. Russ says it’s all preparation for his new role in Cinderella Karate-Gladiator Phone-piffing Vase-Breaker. Should be good.
Crowe bowed theatrically after the violent acts. “I know what the people want,” he said. “Next tanty costs ya 50 bucks.”
(karate pose) “Russell-san, Wax-on, wax-off.” Though Russ usually just whacks off.
Crowe knows quite a few karate moves: “The Drunken Gladiator”, “Crane with Stubby-holder” and the highly dangerous “Phone-throwing Fuckwit”.
The phone was flung across the entire room. Now that’s a mobile phone.
Psychologists say it was really just “a call for help”…
But Crowe fans can rejoice: the whole incident can be downloaded as a ringtone.
He said he just wanted to phone home. After the incident, his fingertip lit up, and he rode his bike off into the sky.
When he appears in court, Russell will try to reverse the charges…
The video’s being sold on the black market as Romper Stomper 2.
If Russell doesn’t get his phone-sex, he quickly resorts to phone-violence…
The clip will be shown on Funniest Phone Videos…
Turns out the whole incident was a publicity stunt for Russ’s new band, “40 Odd Foot of Phone Cable”…
The whole debacle could be avoided if only he had 40 Odd Foot of Phone Cable…
The security video is going to appear as an extra on the DVD of Cinderella Man – The Making of Russell’s Temper.
That’s enough jokes about the incident: we’ve just had a call from Mr Crowe, and it left a nasty bruise…
