Welsh authorities have produced a sickening video about the deadly consequences of texting while driving. So let that be a warning: if you keep text-driving, you stand a real chance of being forced to watch a video like this again.
You should see the video that they’re preparing to stop people axe-murdering! / stop gang-rape!
Interestingly, the ad is still brutally disturbing even if you soundtrack it with the Benny Hill theme.
Basically the film is if you text and drive, you’re a bloody idiot – the four minute R-rated mix!
So remember people, using your mobile at the wheel can be a mass killer. Cooool.
At last splatter films are getting a mainstream audience.
Nothing deters me from texting people more than a good old fashioned snuff-movie.
Clearly their target audience is teenaged snuff-movie buffs. / snuff-buffs.
Best of all, you can download the movie to your mobile and watch it while driving!
The makers of the movie are also responsible for “GPS – Destination of Death!”, “Checking The Speedo Kills Babies”, and “Talking In The Car: Conversation with the REAPER”.
It’s kinda like using the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” to promote hardware safety. / “Nightmare on Elm Street” to promote the sensible use of knife-gloves / “Friday the 13th” to promote conscientious hockey-mask usage.
And even better is the sequel, when they all come back as zombies!
I must be the wrong target audience. Seeing all those dead teenaged girls just got me hot.
Next, they’re making a short film about the deadly dangers of changing stations on the car radio, checking the road map, and sneezing.
Unfortunately, the short film has led to several deaths as young drivers tried to watch the whole thing on their mobiles. The sad sad irony.
But causing a fatal crash just because of a text message seems like such a waste. If you’re going to text while driving, at least make sure you’re speeding, high on drugs, and pissed as a skunk.
See kiddies? And that’s why you have to turn off your phone when you board a plane. / fill up with petrol.
Of course, the five deaths we see aren’t real. If they were real, they wouldn’t be on a driving-safety film clip – they’d be on Funniest Home Videos.
The real tragedy is that the hot guy she was texting is actually gay anyway! Oh the cruel irony.
The tragedy of learning the lesson the hard way is that, when you’ve just been bloodied and battered in a car accident, it’s probably the best time to use your mobile.
It’s certainly more confronting than any film about death by landline. / letter.
But at least the film has an upbeat ending. Who’d want to live in Wales?
Ah, texting while at the wheel. Totally slays me.
