A London Professor claims human evolution has stalled because of a lack of older fathers passing on cells that have mutated. So, what’s the bet this guy is getting on and can’t get laid? / Professor Steve Jones is 64. Coincidentally. / Professor Steve Jones is 64 – ladies keen on evolved children form an orderly queue.
He claims that as an older man, he’s full of imperfect sperm that could just give humans the fins we need! / that almost guarantees mutants!
According to 64 year old Professor Steve Jones, evolution is being hampered by not enough old men fathering children. Conflict of interest, anyone?
Professor Steve Jones is claiming that human evolution is “grinding to a halt”. Clearly, by now, he was expecting us all to have wings. / have a chitinous exoskeleton. / have four legs and eyes on the back of our heads. / all be wearing silver spacesuits. / all be X-Men.
Professor Steve Jones is claiming that human evolution is “grinding to a halt”. And where the hell is my hovercar?
Professor Steve Jones is claiming that human evolution is “grinding to a halt” because older men aren’t reproducing as often as they used to, reducing mutations. He says that for evolution to continue, multiple women will need to sleep with powerful old men, preferably professors, many times a day, and perhaps make them dinner as well. Oh, and a backrub might be nice.
Older men have far more cell divisions, which increase the chances of mutations. And even if you don’t get a mutant up front, at least you’ll get the sort of half-arsed fathering that’ll fuck your kid up in some other way.
He cites Moulay Ismail of 18th century Morocco, who copulated with 1.2 women a day for 60 years, fathering 888 children. While Professor Jones can barely score a single root.
He cites Moulay Ismail of 18th century Morocco, who copulated with 1.2 women a day for 60 years, fathering 888 children. Each of us probably know about 30 of his descendents.
He cites Moulay Ismail of 18th century Morocco, who copulated with 1.2 women a day for 60 years, fathering 888 children. Now that’s highly evolved.
He cites Moulay Ismail of 18th century Morocco, who copulated with 1.2 women a day for 60 years, fathering 888 children, most of which were mutated in some way or other. That’s why the line hasn’t flourished further: poor old Gill-Neck and Five-Eyes found it difficult to find wives.
Funny, when I had a child, I was kinda hoping not to have a mutant.
Of course, he’s just pissed off that he didn’t father Wolverine. / an X-Man. / a supermutant.
Another factor slowing down evolution is that, in ancient times, half our kids would be dead by the time they’re 20. And now, the little fuckers are living to god-knows-what, and then say you’re a crazy old man and want to put you in a home, little ingrates. / and want to lock you up for constantly going around saying people should kill off half their children, little ungrateful BASTARDS!
Another factor slowing down evolution is that, in ancient times, half our kids would be dead by the time they’re 20. And, if his own kids are anything to go by, he wishes they still were. / they really deserve to be, the lazy little know-it-all FUCKS.
In ancient times, only half the population survived to the age of 20, whereas these days it’s 98%. I blame safety warnings. So what if it’s a choking hazard? Let ‘em choke – for the sake of the species!
In ancient times, barely 50% of children survived to the age of 20, whereas these days it’s 98%. Or, as the professor put it, “Thars jes too many durn kids!”
Another factor slowing down evolution is that, in ancient times, half our kids would be dead by the time they’re 20, but now there’s just no selection pressure. But I think he’s wrong – the modern day selection-pressures are drugs, cars, and trying to control oil-fields in Iraq.
Another clue that human evolution has stopped is to just look around you. I mean, really.
So human evolution has stopped. In other words, we’re perfect. (What a relief!)
He’s definitely an optimist. I reckon we’re devolving.
So, if you want humans to evolve, you have to kill half of your children and root an old man. Sorry, but that’s science.
Of course for every mutation that evolves our species, there’d be hundreds that would result in dead-end freaks. So, you know, evolution can be a bit of a mixed bag.
Of course another way to give our evolution a kick-start is just to sleep with monkeys.
The real trouble is, if we stop evolving, eventually the fish-people will prevail.
But surely the modern human race is advanced enough to not need natural selection. If we need to evolve, we’ll develop unnatural selection. / artificial selection.
Professor Jones is sure we’ve stopped evolving. Just look at creationists.
Sure we’re evolving! My parents never had an Internet!
Another thing holding us back from evolution is the size of our population, meaning genes are rarely lost. So the best thing of all for our evolution would be to just have a massive, catastrophic loss of life. And we’re working at it!
Come on, if we’d stopped evolving, we’d be completely unable to deal with environmental and economic catastrophes.
