Prince William has caused a furore by taking an RAF helicopter to a stag weekend on the Isle of Wight. Particularly when it came back tarred and feathered. / covered in shaving cream and filled with hookers and coke.
Bloody hell, what’s the world coming to when a crown prince of England can’t commandeer a private helicopter to fly off for a drunken weekend?
Come on! If you can’t take the helicopter out for a bit of a jaunt when you’re next in line to being Ultimate Monarch for the entire British Empire, when can you? Sheesh.
British MPs are angry that Prince William took a rare Chinook fighter helicopter out for a drunken 3-day stag-party. But it’s easy to tell – they’re just jealous.
Though he did have difficulty getting the chopper past the bouncer at the titty bar.
Prince William took a rare Chinook fighter helicopter out for a drunken 3-day stag-party. And he’s the sensible one.
Tell you what, the strippers were dead impressed.
Taking the chopper was one thing, but using it in a game of polo was going too far.
The RAF said the jaunt was “legitimate training”, and to be fair, he did take out some major targets on the way.
The RAF said the jaunt was “legitimate training”. There’s a hell of a lot of drunken debauchery in times of war. / If William ever gets sent into the heart of war, the British can rest assured that he can piss-on with the best of ‘em. / If William ever gets sent into the heart of war, the British can rest assured knowing he will quickly and efficiently fly to the nearest buck’s night.
The RAF said the jaunt was “legitimate training”, and also described the buck’s weekend as “parade”.
It’s threatening to take the gloss off William’s four months of RAF pilot training. Though at least he’s had the training now; last stag night he went to, he pranged six choppers on the way.
Their main issue wasn’t that he took the chopper, or even that he took it to a 3-day long stag-night. It was that he drove it home pissed. / It was the fact that on the way back home he got pulled over by the Booze Airbus.
The British Airforce has complained that there aren’t enough Chinook helicopters in service in Afghanistan. Which is fair enough – they’re really more of a “royal jaunt” kinda vehicle. / that particular model is more suited to “royal jaunts”.
British troops in Afghanistan are critically short of the helicopters, especially with the recent surge in royal stag nights.
The outcry is not so much that he used the chopper to fly to the stag party, but that he left it smeared in shaving cream, chained to a lamp-post.
All night Prince William was using the line, “Hey ladies – you wanna see my chopper?”
The chopper was flown back by an RAF crew, who had to swim there. / and not by sixteen pissed upper class twits, no matter what witnesses may say.
William flew through busy civilian airspace to pick up Harry on the way. In fact he picked him up straight out of a plane Harry had commandeered.
William flew through busy civilian airspace to pick up Harry on the way. Harry had to skydive in through an open window as Willy flew by.
But William obviously wanted it to be known that he flew a chopper to a stag night. It’s pretty hard to hide a military helicopter, you’d need to find a Chinook nook. And they’re very hard to find unless you’ve got a look at a Chinook nook book.
The stag weekend was a bawdy affair, with at one point rowdy revellers pulling down William’s trousers, resulting in three beheadings.
The stag weekend was a bawdy affair, with at one point rowdy revellers pulling down William’s trousers, revealing his Prince Charles. / his Prince Albert. / his crown jewels. They were in his money-belt.
The stag do was bawdy, with William getting dakked, the princes daring girls to bare their breasts, and vast quantities of mead, pheasant and roast boar.
The stag do was bawdy, with William getting dakked, buxom wenches baring their breasts, and the court jester doing a hilarious routine about the plaugue. / about Queen Victoria and the ploughman’s daughter.
The three-day stag party included a giant pub crawl, starting at the Prince’s Arms, then moving onto his legs and buttocks. / then up onto his shoulders and eventually into his brain.
Coincidentally they later watched a porno called “Prince Willy’s Chopper”. / After getting to the stag party in Prince Willy’s chopper, they ended up watching a porno called “Prince Chopper’s Willy”. Coincidence?
Coincidentally they later watched a porno called “Joyride with Willy”.
Not only did Prince William take a military helicopter to a 3-day stag party, but Harry used the blades to mull up.
If it wasn’t bad enough that Willy took an army chopper to the stag-party, Harry turned a military submarine into a massive bucket bong.
Prince William recently received his RAF wings from his father Prince Charles, who had cut them off when he was just a little baby.
The press headlines reported the Prince’s exploits as a ‘hijack’. Though in fact it was more of a ‘hijink’.
