112 Beijing restaurants have been ordered to keep dog off their menus for the duration of the Olympics so as not to offend Westerners. But that’s why most Westerners go to China in the first place!
112 Beijing restaurants have been ordered to keep dog off their menus for the duration of the Olympics so as not to offend Westerners. Because Westerners can ignore as many human-rights abuses as they like, but don’t touch their dogs!
To not offend Western tourists, restaurants are not to serve dogs. Especially dogs belonging to the Western tourists.
To not offend Western tourists, restaurants are not to serve dogs. Which totally ruins the warm terrier salad.
The plan ruins the very popular “pat your dinner” night.
With so many European guests, some restaurants will be serving German sausage instead of German shepherd. Which is kinda weird, as German sausage is actually mostly German shepherd anyway.
So now Chinese restaurants can’t give you the Shih-tsu.
Not only are they being asked not to serve dogs, but they’re not allowed to serve drunks either.
They’re just going to have to pretend the Peking Duck really is duck.
So Western tourists will be able to sample the delights of authentic Chinese enchiladas, sauerkraut, or a big bowl of spag bol.
Ah, dogs. Man’s best friend – and delicious.
Not only are they not allowed to serve dog in their restaurants, but slowly blowtorching the dogs to death is also a no-no. Man, these foreigners are total wusses.
Great, so just when the city’s full of athletes and foreign journos, it’s going to be overrun with dogs! Sweet, delicious dogs!
Though if you are going to the Olympics, I still don’t recommend ordering a hot dog.
Many Chinese people eat dog for its supposed medicinal properties, and to be fair it is excellent for warding off distemper and rabies. / cats.
It’s good news for animal rights activists, bad news for cats, who now face a threat even greater than the dim sim factory.
All the spare dogs may mean the dim sims taste a bit different at Olympics time.
It’s pretty unfair on Beijing to stop them from eating traditional food. After all, when Sydney hosted the Olympics, we didn’t stop eating roo. / eating dingo. / having dogs as pets.
They’re either afraid that delicate Western sensibilities might be turned off by seeing dog on the menu, or that we’ll realise it’s actually cat. / just seafood extender. / just seafood extender with a bit of fur stuck on.
Fortunately, donkey will still be allowed to be served. Hopefully in dog sauce.
Fortunately not all Chinese delicacies have been taken off the menus. You can still order lovely donkey steaks, and fillet of monk. / and, when available, the head of the Dalai Lama.
Fortunately not all Chinese delicacies have been taken off the menus. Although dog will be unavailable, you can still wash your seahorse down with a refreshing glass of bear-bile.
Looks like the locals will have to stick to golden pheasant and panda steaks.
Although, once you’ve tried dog, you can really understand why they spend so much time licking themselves – they’re delicious!
So now the oven-baked cauliflower can’t use real collie.
It’s a shame. Nothing’s more delicious than blood pudding with real bloodhound.
It’s a real hindrance to Chinese food home-delivery services, like Rottweiler-U-Wait.
Well, there goes the famous Poodle with Noodle.
I don’t believe in all this changing customs for the sensibilities of foreigners. When Sydney hosted the Olympics, did we ban dwarf-tossing? Hell no!
Why should Beijing restaurants have to change their cuisine? When America hosted the Olympics, they didn’t ban McDonalds. Or drive-bys.
Chinese authorities are cracking down on so much that Beijing’s now slightly less Chinese than Rooty Hill.
They’re giving more respect to Western dining customs than to their own local favourite dishes. In fact all menus are being reduced to lemon chicken, beef in black bean and that yummy way you do pork.
