Good News Week

Sex amnesia (GNW 23/11/09: Strange But True)

An American woman suddenly developed amnesia while having sex with her husband.  The woman, known only as Alice, hopes one day to remember her surname.

Neurologists say sex-triggered amnesia is quite common, and usually develops after an orgasm.  Ladies – be careful what you wish for.

She was taken to the hospital by her husband.  At least, the man CLAIMS to be her husband.

Transient Global Amnesia is caused by pressure in the blood vessels of the brain, and is often caused by sex, bowel movements, or that ninth bucket-bong.

Apparently, TGA is actually experienced by nearly all of us.  We just don’t remember having it.

It’s like how a power surge can wipe your computer’s hard drives.  Although she’s a lot more fun to reformat.

The sex was so great, she’ll never remember it.

Her husband is really pleased that she’s okay, although he’s a bit disappointed that the best lovin’ he’s given her in years has been totally wiped from her memory.

Her hubbie’s a bit disappointed.  After all, she remembers all the BAD sex they have.

Then again, she’s nearly sixty, and her husband’s even older.  Them having sex is probably an image worth forgetting. / I wish I could forget they’d been having sex.

She just didn’t remember inviting in the whole rugby team.  But they assure her, she did.

She also lost the ability to form new memories.  So she didn’t even know she had amnesia.

Apparently sex is a common trigger for amnesia.  Funny, I don’t remember that… / I’ve never heard that before – at least, I don’t remember it…

Transient Global Amnesia can be caused by any strenuous activity.  So it’s advised not to do any heavy lifting with your frontal lobes. / So no more moving house with your brain.

Transient Global Amnesia is caused by pressure in the blood vessels of the brain, and is often caused by strenuous sex, or bowel movements.  And there’s nothing worse than waking up in the wet spot, covered in your own faeces, with no memories of what you’ve been up to.  Or so I’ve been told.  Ahem.

Still, if you’re going to lose your memory, it’s better to lose it from a hot session of rumpy pumpy than from laying a massive cable.

So now you know – the real sign that you’re wild in the sack is when your partner turns to you afterwards and says “who the hell are you?”

She is now fully recovered and can remember everything apart from the act of intercourse that triggered the attack.  She can remember everything else: the rohypnol, the chloroform…

The orgasm triggered a memory loss that wiped out years of memory.  All the way back to her last orgasm.

They initially thought she’d had a stroke, but it turned out it was full penetration.

Either she lost her memory, or decided to feign amnesia to avoid having to tell her husband how shit he was.

So next time someone doesn’t rave about my lovemaking, I’ll know it’s an amnesia attack.

After having sex last August, 59-year-old Alice lost all memory of the last several years.  She thought Bill Clinton was still President.  But then who hasn’t wanted to wipe Dubya’s Presidency from their memory? / Imagine that – sex so good that it could completely eliminate the memory of Dubya. / So not only did it wipe out all traces of Dubya, but it was FANTASTIC SEX!

She thought Bill Clinton was still President!  Weird that sex could make you forget about Bush.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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