Robo-rabbit-cock (GNW 23/11/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Scientists in an American laboratory have given rabbits artificial penises.  I guess they ran out of carrots.

The scientists say that the artificial penises could one day result in a fully-functional replacement for having your penis chopped off by scientists.

That’s a real pubic hare.

Of course all it takes to grow penises in a lab is a life-size poster of Lara Croft.

The artificial penises worked even better than the scientists’ original experiment of supergluing their cocks back on.

The male bunnies were successfully breeding within six weeks of having their lab-grown penises grafted on, and were soon asking if they could have a couple more.

Unfortunately the babies that resulted were all penis. / were born with their penises cut off.

Strangest of all, when the pregnant bunnies gave birth, their children were chocolate eggs.

Scientists said that developing functional artificial penises was a thrill, but not as big a thrill as chopping them off the randy little bastards.

The scientists are hoping that if they can grow artificial penises on humans, they might get laid once in a while.

The scientists say the technology may one day provide solutions to penile cancer, traumatic injury, and scientists with tiny little cocks.

The research will hopefully one day enable surgeons to reconstruct and restore function to damaged tissue in humans, but for now, they’re happy giving rabbits extra cocks. / creating multi-cocked bunnies.

And maybe, just maybe, one day they will create something USEFUL.

The new penises seem extra fertile, extra strong, and grow extra fast.  Help – we’re creating an army of mutant supercocks!

Next the scientists are going to try growing extra scrotums, flaps, and big fat hairy arses.  And who says scientists are immature?

Growing cocks on rabbits, huh.  Well, that’s what you get when you leave the project overview to the work experience kid.

The research will hopefully one day enable surgeons to reconstruct and restore function to damaged penile tissue in men, or just create big fat hairy cocks for women. / or women, if they like.

The research will hopefully one day enable surgeons to reconstruct and restore function to damaged penile tissue in men, and make extra realistic vibrators for women.  (Although they will have a rabbit attached.)

Their original plan was to make the extra penises grow on the rabbits’ scalps, just to see if they could do it – but then the rabbits would’ve all looked like total dickheads.

The scientists say that, powered by their new lab-willies, bunnies will be able to go at it like rabbits. / these bunnies will screw even more than bunnies.

The rats in the next lab are pissed off.  How come they got stuck with human ears?

Next the scientists plan to make a creature that is ALL penis.  The cure for cancer can bloody well wait.

The artificial penises not only gave the rabbits full sexual and breeding function, they could also play the piano like never before!

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