Glass House

Spears Baby Test Sold (The Glass House 18/5/05)

Joke fodder for The Glass House about an Australian article similar to this one

Britney Spears’ urine-based pregnancy test has been sold for five thousand and one US dollars on eBay. Britney’s said to be furious that her latest release has been leaked…

Insiders say the new Britney release is to be called “Number Ones… and Some Songs”.

The Brit-piss has been bought by an online casino, the Golden Palace. In fact if you spin three cherries at Golden Palace now you win a Golden Shower.

The casino is wanting to extract Britney DNA from the pregnancy kit in the hope of producing some Britney clones. They’ve obviously never heard of Jessica Simpson.

The kit was retrieved from Brit and Kev’s rubbish pile. They had to weed through a few million copies of her latest single.

Six and a half thousand bucks! I can’t believe her urine is worth so much! She’s already had so many number ones…

The placenta is going to cost a fucking fortune.

Oddly enough, Kevin Federline’s cum is worthless.

Kevin Federline’s sperm sample is also available on eBay. Current bid is a dollar twenty-eight.

Brit-Brit’s stopped releasing music – she’s now just signing giant autographs in the snow.

The pregnancy kit is obviously Britney’s; it’s labelled “My Pregnogative”…

Apparently Brit’s after two children – when quizzed about her pregnancy she said she’d like a Baby One More Time.

The Britney wee-wee is apparently Toxic…

There were shocked readers when a US paper left a colon out of their headline “Urine Test: Spears Baby”.

They stole the urine sample out of her rubbish. They could have just come to us – we’ve been taking the piss out of Britney for years!

It’s hard to put a price on Britney’s urine… although Ozzy Osbourne’s is worth five bucks a pint.

Britney’s wee-wee is rumoured to be recording a duet with Madonna’s. Should make it to number ones…

They also stole incontinency pads from her garbage… Now we know what was really behind “Ooops, I did it again”…

It’s no surprise that her urine is worth so much; fans have been paying for her shit for ages.

I only wish this Federline ended in a good Punchline…

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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