Clare Werbeloff, the “Chk Chk Boom” girl, for services to fat wogs, skinny wogs & their fully sick boys. Proof that modern journalists would rather talk to a pretty girl than CHECK THEIR FACTS. / DO ACTUAL JOURNALISM. Proof that modern journalists would rather be first with the news, than report what’s actually happening. After […]
A Chinese man is renting himself to stressed women, as a punching bag. Unlike a regular punching bag, you can see the pain! A Chinese man is renting himself to stressed women, as a punching bag. He was sick of getting the shit kicked out of him for free. He’s renting himself out […]
Matthew Johns, the Cronulla Sharks, Paul Vautin & the NRL Footy Show, for services to team bonding; Of course Johns has borne the brunt for the group sex scandal, but you know what they say, it takes eight to gangbang. Or nine, I mean, who was counting? And there’s no bond stronger than a […]
Scientists in an American laboratory have given rabbits artificial penises. I guess they ran out of carrots. The scientists say that the artificial penises could one day result in a fully-functional replacement for having your penis chopped off by scientists. That’s a real pubic hare. Of course all it takes to grow penises in […]
Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon Craig Bittner, for running his car on fat sucked from his patients called “lipo-diesel”. And he uses their love handles as shammies. Ah, fat people. Is there anything we can’t do with their grotesque corpulence? And if he runs out of fat, he’ll use their juiced brains. It’s also great […]
Government MP Kelvin Thomson has suggested Australia’s population growth is best tackled by cutting immigration from New Zealand. That way no-one can accuse them of racism. Government MP Kelvin Thomson has suggested Australia’s population growth is best tackled by cutting unchecked immigration from New Zealand. Because they’re certainly not asylum seekers – unless […]
Kevin Rudd, for his $42 billion stimulus package. A lot of people got Pink Batts they didn’t need, a lot of schools got buildings they didn’t need,a lot of Aboriginal people got nothing, & our childrengot a deficit they can pass on to their children. But hey, they can’t vote. Kevin is glad we […]
An American woman suddenly developed amnesia while having sex with her husband. The woman, known only as Alice, hopes one day to remember her surname. Neurologists say sex-triggered amnesia is quite common, and usually develops after an orgasm. Ladies – be careful what you wish for. She was taken to the hospital by […]
The Vatican is holding its first ever conference on alien life. Apart from all the ones about the freaky floaty aliens from planet Heaven. Of course, alien life would make many of the stories in the bible finally make sense. All those ‘angels’ and ‘heavenly spirits’ – they’re aliens. And all those […]
Pope Benedict the 16th & his pals at the Vatican, for posing this question on International Women’s Day: “In the 20th century, what contributed most to the emancipation of western women?” And their answer? The washing machine. After all, even emancipated women need nice clean undies. After all, if you’re going to burn […]