The true eco-menace has been revealed – cats and dogs. A pet dog has an eco-pawprint double that of the average Land Cruiser. And you don’t have to pick up a Land Cruiser’s droppings. Of course, this idea isn’t new. You’d already know that dogs are toxic if you’ve ever smelt one fart. But dogs […]
The FBI have introduced a page on their website for kids! Unfortunately it’s not a secure site. I guess catching bin Laden was getting a bit hard. But at least now they can colour him in! You can learn about how the FBI works, how they take evidence, and all sorts of exciting things about […]
The US claims that al-Qaida is facing a financial crisis. Aren’t we all. / If only we weren’t facing one at the same time. / Which is lucky, otherwise with the West’s financial crisis we wouldn’t stand a chance. The US claims that al-Qaida is facing a financial crisis. So now they’re ALL living in […]
The Australian Olympic Committee has expressed frustration at the delay in response to its huge additional funding request. If they were in charge, it would be swifter, higher, richer! If an Olympics were held this year, Australia would slip to seventh on the medal tally. Seventh! We may as well just swallow hemlock. / We […]
Hooray! In just three years we could all be staying at a new luxury resort – in space! Well, I say luxury, but you still have to have your lobster thermidor sucked through a straw. The Galactic Space Suite Resort will cost $4.4 million for a three-night stay. And you’ll have to tip the valet […]
A dating website is rejecting almost 80% of applicants because they aren’t deemed attractive enough. At last, a dating site that is superficial on your behalf! The site’s been called “superficial” by critics, who are undoubtedly ugly. / especially those who’ve been rejected. So there you go. Even beautiful people are turning into nerds. The […]
In Chicago, a pair of would-be burglars apprehended by police were found to have disguised their faces with a black permanent marker. They were marked bandits. That permanent marker is going on their permanent records. / This is going on their permanent record, in permanent texta. The pair refused to wear stockings over their heads. […]
A hedgehog has been found rolling around in an orchard, squealing loudly, after getting drunk on fermented apples. Looks like he went the whole hog. If you’ve ever been drunk and covered in spines, you’ll know what the problem is. A team of animal rescuers saved the hedgehog, despite its drunken pleas. / drunken pleas […]
Tuesday, November 17 Beijing will host the Digital Media Awards on Tuesday, with winner for Most Unbiased Media going to China – again! Beijing will host the Digital Media Awards tomorrow. The Olympic stadium will be perhaps wasted on the single wi-fi connected nerd running the thing. The Bureau of Statistics will release the population […]
A Queensland researcher has suggested potential tourists to Australia may be being put off by recent local horror movies like “Wolf Creek”, “Dying Breed” and “The Hey Hey Reunion”. Aussie horror films frequently count among their victims foreigners, backpackers, or outsiders. It’s about time these tourists got the message. At last – the perfect way […]