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Glass House

Poor Reception (cut from The Glass House 15/6/05)

A Florida woman pulled a gun on her TV repairman, telling him: “You’re not leaving until the TV is fixed.” She was going to see Survivor one way or another… She was said to have been inspired by Desperate Housewives… I can understand why TV would drive you to that. You wouldn’t want to miss […]

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Glass House

Religious twist in Workplace Relations (The Glass House 8/6/05)

This article from the Sydney Morning Herald requires you to pay to order it online. Screw that, they’re not getting my link. The government’s industrial relations reform is heavily grounded in Christian ethics, says devoutly Catholic Minister for Workplace Relations, Kevin Andrews. Surely you remember Christ’s famous “Blessed are the employers with less than 100 […]

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Glass House

Supper with the stars (The Glass House 8/6/05)

A new UK website offers you the chance to have dinner with washed up pop stars and comedians. For a fee of between 300 and 5000 pounds, Supper With The Stars will send around one of their list of semi-stars to liven up your dinner party. And after dinner they sing karaoke to all of […]

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Glass House

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill says the Sydney Morning Herald about a new drug called ampakine. We say: It’s going to make medical exams a lot less gruelling. In fact the main assessment will just be based on which pill you’ve prescribed yourself. I actually ordered a pack […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Dockers’ new recruit ‘Hassa’ (The Glass House 8/6/05)

Some understandably unused gags about an Age article related to this one: Dockers find humour in Hasselhoff hoax Hasslehoff is just who the Dockers need on their forward line. KITT could be coach. The cybervandals were going to use KITT but couldn’t fit the guernsey on… I’m looking forward to when they start replacing all […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Sheik Yerbooti Memorial Explosive Logie (cut from The Glass House 1/6/05)

Some Holt & Blackwell authored material for the trophy segment cut from The Glass House re: a Sydney Morning Herald article “Fitting the Part”. Iraqis living in America are being hired by the US Army to play insurgents and protesters in a new training program that aims to prepare troops for the war zone. They’re […]

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Glass House

Museum a real stink (cut from The Glass House 1/6/05)

A story that made The Glass House script but not the screen: Smelly Swedish herring gets museum Sweden is opening a museum with the world’s finest collection of fermented Baltic herring. That’s right, it’s the fish they collect that makes Baltic Herring Museum the best. Here in Australia, we’re opening the Museum of Flake, Scallops […]

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Glass House

United in Dislike (The Glass House 1/6/05)

The rest of Europe hates the French according to a Daily Telegraph article that doesn’t seem to be online. A European survey has found that everyone dislikes the French. The British view them as chauvinistic and humourless, the Germans see them as pretentious and frivolous, the Spanish damn them as vain and rude, and the […]

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Glass House

Affairs just follow script (The Glass House 25/5/05)

A huge slab of stuff some of which made it to air about the Herald-Sun article “AFFAIRS JUST FOLLOW SCRIPT”, which I can’t find online but which is more or less summed-up below. Two US divorcees have written a new book claiming that they when men cheat on their wives, they always follow a predictable […]

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Glass House

Sniffer dogs kick cocaine for talc (The Glass House 25/5/05)

Raw gaggage from Holt & Blackwell for The Glass House about the sniffer dogs that have been trained to track down talcum terrorists… Sniffer dogs kick cocaine for talc Police are keeping their eyes peeled for any members of the force with very tingly armpits. Victorian Police have arrested more than sixty people at raves […]

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Glass House

Spears Baby Test Sold (The Glass House 18/5/05)

Joke fodder for The Glass House about an Australian article similar to this one SPEARS BABY TEST SOLD Britney Spears’ urine-based pregnancy test has been sold for five thousand and one US dollars on eBay. Britney’s said to be furious that her latest release has been leaked… Insiders say the new Britney release is to […]

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Glass House

Blighty Snags World’s Top Food Title (The Glass House 18/5/05)

Raw material from the gag workshop of Holt & Blackwell for The Glass House about the article BLIGHTY SNAGS WORLD’S TOP FOOD TITLE They offer bacon and egg icecream, snail porridge, and oyster and passionfruit jelly. You wouldn’t believe the chef’s self-taught… One problem ‘The Fat Duck’ has had is that no-one knows what are […]

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Film Glass House News

Wednesday night TV featuring my actual head

So finally this Star Wars thing is coming to its overdue conclusion. And the good people over at SBS’s The Movie Show decided that since Craig and I made “the definitive documentary on Australia’s obsession with Star Wars”, we would be suitable resident experts to discuss the cultural phenomenon. Or something. Maybe they might even […]

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Glass House News

Things not fit to be broadcast

Regular visitors to my house will be aware that I am the “co-author” of some “jokes” that appear on ABC-TV’s The Glass House. The way it works is this. A couple of days a fortnight Mat Blackwell and I get faxed a few news stories. By close of play we send back as many of […]

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Spam

Pacmen are evil

So the Media Empire is finally launched upon the high seas of the Internet, and what am I doing? Filling the world with enlightened essays of peace, love and understanding? A few fart jokes perhaps? Perhaps I’m flat out preparing the contract for that huge job I just landed. Maybe I’m just too flat out […]

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News

Move over Murdoch

Welcome to the age of the Media Empire. Your world will never be the same. (Due to the chaotic nature of nature no state is ever repeated.)