A New Zealand taekwando champion has set up a “high class gentlemen’s club” to fund his London Olympics campaign. Not only does the brothel help fund his taekwando, but is essential training for young women striving for a place on the vertical bar.
The martial arts champion says he is the owner of an escort agency, rather than a pimp in the sense of a guy standing on a street corner with gold chains. Mind you, you don’t want to cross him, or he’ll get Olympic on yo ass.
The martial arts champion says he is not a pimp. A pimp, he says, is some violent guy standing on a street corner wearing gold chains. Whereas he is some violent guy standing on a street corner wearing gold MEDALS.
He says he’s very different to a regular pimp. Most pimps are violent “tough guys” who make money from prostitutes, whereas he’s an expert in hitting and kicking people who runs an escort agency. See? Totally different.
After all, raising money from sex is a step up from his previous job, as a taekwando athlete.
He says he didn’t want to get into the sex business. As a taekwando expert, he really just wants to make a living by hitting and kicking people.
The taekwando master says he’s quite different to a regular pimp. He’ll definitely be able to carry out his threats.
It’s a very profitable venture, especially since he can be his own heavy.
Sure, running an escort agency is looked down on, but at least it’s not mugging people. Which would have been the easy option.
His previous Olympic campaign was mostly funded by his parents. At least this way his parents get a little something in return.
His previous Olympic campaign was mostly funded by his parents. And they refuse to be pimped again. / And there’s no way they’re going back on the streets. / And they’re getting too old for back alley handjobs.
Apparently his mum was a bit dubious at first, but, after meeting two of the girls, was won over. “They really know how to eat snatch!” she said.
The taekwando master’s girls do know some great holds.
Clients should be careful what they ask for. It can take weeks to recover from the black belt in bondage. / Being tied up by a black belt can leave scars.
He’s got a black belt, and matching thigh-high boots.
His black belt is blinged to the max.
He’s hoping he can raise enough money to go all the way and win gold. He needs the bling.
It’s a disgrace! Why can’t he earn his way like an Australian Olympian – by prostituting himself!
It’s kind of like how Australian Olympians raise their money. Only us taxpayers don’t get the happy finish.
The girls are even colour-coded – order 5 girls at once, and you can see the Olympic rings!
His girls practise safe sex, with a martial arts feel. They always use taekwandoms.
It’s a great plan: when he’s actually at the Olympics, his opponents will get blinded by the gleam from his blinged up grills.
The pimp lifestyle has impacted on his fighting skills. Next time he’s at the Olympics, he’s just going to point to the opponent with his cane, and mutter to his heavies “time to take out the trash”.
