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New beginnings, hackneyed endings

Greetings, browsers of the “Internet”, Well the most exciting news of our career thus far is finally out in the open, so here it is. Bruce is “under development” with the ABC. See here or here for UNDENIABLE PROOF! So we’re heads down with our little creative team to make the final case that this […]

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Good News Week

That was a year, it was (GNW 23/11/09: monologue)

It was all happening in our quiet little corner of the world.    Dictatorship in Fiji, anti-govt riots in Thailand, terrorist training camps in Indonesia, recession in Japan, missile tests in North Korea, a new cold war between China & the U.S., & right next to it all… us!  The Indian-bashing, Sri Lankan-drowning, gollywog-impersonating good guys. […]

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Good News Week

U.N. Rudd (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

Prime Minister Kevin Rudd makes an historic address at the U.N. General Assembly, an hour late to an empty room.  It was Kevin’s big moment & no-one was there.  Apart from a few New Zealanders making sheep noises. / doing armpit raspberries. The U.N. Assembly members were also upset at the delay.  If Rudd had’ve […]

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Good News Week

Balloon Boy (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

Richard and Mayumi Heene, the parents of the hoax “balloon boy” Falcon Heene, will plead guilty to charges of making false reports and attempting to influence a public official.  Falcon has agreed to drop charges of false imprisonment and psychological abuse. The balloon boy story gripped America for several hours with people so swept away […]

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Good News Week

Ned Skully (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

A farmer has produced a skull he claims to be that of Ned Kelly.  He refused to tell authorities where he got the skull, but if they pay up, he’ll give them Phar Lap and Bradman too. Wow!  If this really is Ned Kelly’s skull, it will prove once and for all that he truly […]

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Good News Week

Kids Off The Booze (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

The Australian Drug Foundation has called for new penalties for adults found to be supplying drinks to boozing adolescents.  Any adult giving a teen more than two standard drinks will be grounded. The ADF says one in three teenagers are binge-drinking at “harmful levels”, since that is, of course, the whole point. The ADF says […]

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Good News Week

Ute-gate (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

And we were amazed at the political judgement & cunning of Malcolm Turnbull, who took a nothing story about Kevin Rudd’s old rust-bucket & turned it into… Ute-gate!  Unfortunately Malcolm didn’t know quite enough about utes and got walloped by Tail-gate. And we were amazed at the political judgement & cunning of Malcolm Turnbull, who […]

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Good News Week

Bikies (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

It’s been a tough year for the poor old bikies.  One moment of alleged unpleasantness at Sydney Airport, and suddenly it’s assumed they’re all violent, vengeful thugs.  Whereas they insist they’re simply violent, vengeful citizens. Bikies insist that they are not the problem.  There are just too many bollards around.  (And who can resist that […]

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Good News Week

Hoyono? You know. (GNW 23/11/09: 12 Months in 7 Seconds)

Australia’s relationship with Indonesia seems to be doomed, after Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono gives our PM not so much a wet fish handshake as an oceanic wiping. That’s what happens when one person wants to shake hands, and one wants to tickle palms. Not only was their handshake limp, but the lovemaking was really half-hearted. / […]

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Good News Week

Stupid Vampires (GNW 23/11/09: 5 Second Grab)

The Twilight phenomenon hit a new high last week with the release of the “New Moon” movie.  Across the world, young teen girls flocked into movie theatres to swoon over a 108-year-old with false teeth. / dental problems. All the goth kiddies want to be vampires.  They’re the only things that can wear capes without […]