Spurned lovers all over Iraq are planting bombs to blow up the obstacle to their love – be it the girl’s father or the girl itself. Ahh. I love a happy ending.
Young Iraqi men are now often planting a “love explosive device” after being dumped – which itself is often due to their love devices exploding.
Ahh. You know you’re in love when your heart goes boom.
Of course, if they really love you, they plant a bomb stuffed with chocolates.
In Iraq, you’ve got to take your loveletters VERY seriously.
First date – flowers. Second date – chocolates. Third date – bang!
It means something altogether different when young Iraqi men get together and ask each other “didja bang her?”…
When an Iraqi suitor gets to home base, it’s usually to blow it up. / to await instructions. / to build a bomb.
Irai suitors don’t just try to get to home base with their girlfriends – they try to blow it up.
See what happens when peace and love breaks out!
This never would’ve happened under Saddam. Except to Saddam’s girlfriends.
Some former insurgents are getting American girlfriends, just so they have someone to blow up.
Of course this thing is bound to happen when Shi’ites and Sunnis fall in love. It’s like Romeo and Juliet, except only the chick dies. / only with bombs.
So if the earth doesn’t move for you, there’s probably just something wrong with the detonator.
Sunni families are warring with neighbouring Shiite families. In Iraq, blood is thicker than water – though sometimes they both rain from the sky. / flood the streets.
Sunni families are warring with neighbouring Shiite families. In Iraq, blood is thicker than water – a theory they’ve had plenty of opportunities to test.
Of course, many of the suitors get blown up by their own devices. It’s no surprise – young men are reknowned for going off too quick.
The bombers say they’re just liberating their lovers from a tyrannical regime. (Who may possess Weapons of Mass Destruction.)
Blowing someone up for love is a technique known as “shock and awww”.
Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds… and mars. And occasionally takes out a coupla tanks.
Not only is blowing up your girlfriend a great way of getting revenge, but it’s also great as a contraceptive!
But it’s just rude. It’s proper courting ettiquette to ask before you blow up in a girl’s face.
Luckily they have yet to find any Weapons of Mass Affection.
The trouble is, young Iraqi men who are used to blowing up their problems are now resorting to explosives to settle any grievance. Reject an offer of love – KABOOM. Take their carpark – BLAM. Illegally invade and start killing civillians – KABLOOIE.
In Iraq, traffic cops really think hard before giving you a parking ticket…
Men are placing Improvised Explosive Devices, or IEDs, outside the houses of girls who have turned them down. It’s even worse when a woman accidentally uses an IED as an IUD.
