A Russian priest has claimed he was tricked into giving a sacred blessing to a strip club. He’d been told it was a ballet school, and he even took time to enjoy a little of that modern lap-ballet while he was there.
The owners of the bar convinced him that it was a new modern form of dancing called Pole Ballet.
A Russian priest has been tricked into blessing a stripclub, by being told it was actually a hall for ballet practise. He claims that his mind was addled by all the naked breasts.
He did think that these modern tutus seemed a bit scanty.
The poor priest can’t believe he actually blessed a stripclub. That’ll learn him for smoking crack on the job.
It was the first time the priest’s ever delivered a blessing with a pair of tits as ear muffs.
Not only did the priest end up blessing the place, but he has a newfound appreciation for ballet (and now tries to see as much of it as he can).
The priest was shocked when he discovered he’d blessed a strip club. The only G-string he’s tucking a fifty into is Jesus’. / the Pope’s.
The priest was shocked when he discovered he’d blessed a strip club. Although it does explain all the women taking their clothes off onstage.
That’s the priest’s story anyway, for why he was caught there screaming “Oh sweet Lord, this place is heavenly!”
It was sort of a blessing. “Oh God, oh Jesus!”
It’s not the first time the poor priest has been fooled. Last year he accidentally blessed a stripclub because they told him it was an Olympic training gym for the Vertical Bar.
He was initially against the idea of having blessed a stripclub, but after a few pints and a free lapdance he changed his mind.
He did think it was odd that the Nutcracker Suite seemed to involve actual nuts. And they weren’t cracking them, either.
He admits that he was confused by all the pingpong balls flying about.
He began to get a bit suspicious when a dancer asked if he wanted to get his pirroo wet.
The blessing seems to be working, with a better atmosphere and more customers. Not surprising, it’s not really sin any more is it.
He was dismayed that he’d blessed a strip club, but he has learned a new way to help fill the collection plate…
He’s making the best of a bad situation. Now that the place is blessed he’s holding communion there. Attendees get to take in the body of Christ, the blood of Christ, and hot lesbian bondage sluts. / Attendees get to take in the body of Christ, and the body of Christina.
But in the end, the priest’s decided he’s OK with the blessing, especially now his sermons are full of pole dancers.
People now come to his church for the sermons, and stay for the lapdancers!
Although, now he’s got the most popular confession-booth in town.
And now in his church, the confession-booth is also used for private lap-dances. After all, you’re in the perfect place to confess it. / You can even confess it while it’s happening!
Previously all the strippers had been blessed with was low levels of shame and enormous tits.
The strippers even gave him a special performance of Swan Lake, with a happy ending!
They even gave him a special performance of Swan Lake, using real feathers. / with a real featherboa. / using real swans.
They even gave him a special performance of Swan Lake. Although he didn’t remember it having quite so many exposed vaginas.
They even gave him a special performance of Swan Lake. He was very impressed with the way they moved like real swans, and was truly overwhelmed by their flaps.
But surely a blessing under false pretences shouldn’t work. I thought this God guy was omniscient?
So if you’re looking for some holy sin, Chelyabinsk is the place for you.
It’s the world’s holiest sin!
It’s the sin that repents itself!
