Pope not dead, but goal still missed (The Glass House 3/8/05)

A New Zealand rugby semi-final was interrupted by a rogue announcer putting off a member of the Catholic Rugby Club by announcing that the Pope had died in a car crash. Their next shot at goal was interrupted by an announcement that “There is no God” and a penalty was missed when it was announced that “Christ put chewy on your boot”.

Pope Benedict was also the victim of a practical joke when he was told the New Zealand Catholic Rugby Club had won their semi-final, causing him to crash his Popemobile.

In related news, the Pope was just about to pontificate when an announcement came over the PA that a New Zealand rugby team had lost their forward. “I nearly choked on me pie!” said the pontiff.

After the shot bounced off the goalpost, the announcer said that the Pope was in fact fine and that the car accident was minor. The announcer apologised afterwards. “I’m sorry, it was just this vibe I got. Usually those are pretty accurate.”

The Catholics got their revenge though; when the home team lined up for their next goal they were distracted when the announcer was struck dead by a bolt of lightning.

That’s nothing. In a Catholics vs Satanists match last year, an announcement said that the “dark lord had been born in the flesh to a virgin goat, in the carpark, next to the hot-dog van.” By the time the Satanists had wiped the blood off their sacrificial daggers, the Catholics had won the game.

“Funny thing is, I thought they said my soap had been in a car crash. I love that soap.”

“Funny thing is, I thought they said Bob Hope had died in a car crash. And he’s already dead. So you can see why I was thrown off.”

“Funny thing is, I thought they said Star Wars: A New Hope had been in a car crash. I love that movie.”

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