The latest report from the Council of Wowsers Telling You Hedonists That You’re All Doomed says that any more than four standard drinks – or two per day regularly – puts you at higher risk of alcohol-related injury. Looks like the nanny state’s been given the keys to the liquor cabinet. The National Health and […]
Month: February 2009
Kevin Rudd just can’t stop throwing money at us. It’s good though, those poker machines won’t feed themselves. Kevin Rudd announced a 3.8 billion fund for insulation, hoping to insulate us from the global recession. See what I did there? Kevin Rudd gave up on the whole idea of budget surpluses and decided to see […]
Nigerian police are holding a goat on charges of armed robbery, because witnesses have claimed it’s actually a man who transformed himself through black magic. Either that or the guy is still hiding behind the goat. A group of vigilantes came upon some men trying to break into a Mazda 323, but when they gave […]
Sydney scientists have discovered that locusts are ordinarily shy and only turn into ravaging swarms when serotonin is released when they are forced together, creating a state similar to that a human experiences when on ecstasy. So your average locust is actually a high-cust. The elevated levels of serotonin makes these pests accumulate en masse, […]
A pair of New Zealand criminals have been involved in one of the worst escape attempts ever, when, handcuffed to one another, they wrapped themselves around a pole. Sure, they didn’t escape, but they won a camera on Australia’s Funniest Prison Videos. The police arrested them after battering them with rubber truncheons and a prolonged […]
A Russian man has had part of his penis bitten off after an ill-fated attempt to rape a raccoon. It was an honest mistake – he thought it was a beaver. But you know raccoons – they’re such cockteases. Of course, it was a female raccoon – he’s no pervert. The guy’s not complaining – […]
Tues, Feb. 10 Tomorrow’s the Israeli election. Vote the right way or else! Tomorrow sees the election in Israel. Hate to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but you know they’ve always got it rigged so that a Jew will win. Tomorrow, the 2009 Australian Disasters Conference will be held in Canberra, where they’ll talk about […]
Hi all, Well just before GNW starts for the new year (8:30 Mondays, Channel 10), and this blog fills up with oh-so-hilarious jokes at a rate of 1000 per minute, I thought I’d post a few other little things Mat and I did on our holidays. We were asked to write a number of things […]