Liberal MP Mal Washer said that freezing MPs’ salaries was “crazy”, and that without proper pay, there was a risk only “clowns”, “losers”, “screwballs” and “halfwits” would want to enter politics. As opposed to reasonable, literate people like Mal Washer. / Because of course at the moment they accept nothing but certified geniuses. (humorous pictures […]
Month: February 2009
The global financial crisis is taking its toll on the partners of financial workers. In America there are a growing number of Wall Street Widows, but it’s even worse here in Australia where stockbrokers have been forced to place their children in All Ordinaries Orphanages. Unfortunately this time around, financial workers have found that once […]
The study by the Australian Olympic Committee, strongly recommends an 80 to 100 million dollars extra per year. For Australian Olympians. Now there’s a surprise. / Well, I wouldn’t have expected them to ask for less. / But they’ll make do with a billion. / Now that’s impartial. An Australian Olympic Committee study says that […]
Health spas worldwide are embracing a trend for filling pools with flesh-eating Kangal fish, which feed off dead skin and let the healthy cells grow, making them great for treating skin diseases. And for more serious medical conditions, they bring out the squid-surgeon. / the sawfish. The perfect solution if you’re suffering from white-bait. / […]
The Chinese government has now declared that March 28th will be a day for Tibetans to celebrate! It’s the day the Dalai Lama’s Tibetan rebellion was finally crushed by the Chinese military 50 years ago. Hooray! Those Chinese – they’re just so inscrutable. Good news for Tibetans! China has declared March 28 “Serf Emancipation Day” […]
The West Australian Public Transport Authority is campaigning against inconsiderate commuters listening to loud music or speaking loudly on mobile phones. Huh. I don’t see them turning down the volume of their trains. Are these passengers really being inconsiderate? Or just trying to be audible? So far the campaign has met with little success, as […]
London scientists have identified the scents that make up the smell of chips – aromas including butterscotch, cocoa, onion, cheese, flowers and, get this, ironing boards. And here I was thinking they smelt of salt and grease. Chips smell like ironing boards. Well, ironing boards covered in grease and salt. I think the research is […]
A new robotic security guard has been unveiled that can sense an intruder and launch a web to capture them. And then, it rolls up to its captive and feasts on the warm innards before injecting the corpse with its eggs. The robot’s fantastic – not only can it disable burglars and vandals, but it’s […]
In Beijing, a 99 year old man is facing trial accused of swindling $170,000 from an American academic. He could receive a life sentence, or up to 6 months if the jury’s harsh. He pleaded incontinent. Frankly, if you’ve lived to 99, why not see your time out in jail. Something new. He may get […]
After a 10 year legal battle, a Dutch philosophy student has won the right to study at a Rotterdam University despite his foot odour. The judge finally upheld the student’s appeal just to get him out of the damn court. The university didn’t expect to win – they just wanted him out of the classroom […]