An Amsterdam council have decreed to clamp down on dogs off leads in one of the city’s most famous parks, while allowing couples to have sex. Yes, public sex is now allowed in the park, but not if it’s doggy-style. And dogs are allowed to have sex only if they’re on a lead. Of course, […]
Month: April 2008
Tues, April 15 In Adelaide, the Water Down Under 2008 conference will discuss rainfall modelling, stochastic hydrology and who left the tap on. 10 years since Pol Pot died, and they’re still searching for his henchmen, Sammy Saucepan and Frankie Fondue Set. Wed, April 16 Robert Downey Jr. will be in Sydney to attend the […]
Two dogs who saved a toddler from drowning have been presented with a bravery award from Queensland Premier Anna Bligh, and, as a special reward, have been fed the toddler. / now get to eat the kid. Two dogs who saved a toddler from drowning have been presented with a bravery award from Queensland Premier […]
Robert Mugabe could become the world’s first dictator to be ousted by being voted out. Well there you go. It’s like an armed revolution, only done by voting. / Who’d’ve thought an election could be the perfect bloodless coup? Mugabe’s disappointed: whatever happened to good old-fashioned armed revolution? Mugabe’s disappointed: he was hoping to be […]
Defence Minister Joel Fitzgibbon has ordered military chiefs to immediately open bases to work experience kids. He’s sick of making his own coffee. After all, Fitzgibbon’s still a work experience Defence Minister. The work experience kids will be given jobs like making coffee, filing, and photocopying top secret information for the Russians. How are we […]
Oxfam Australia is giving Melburnians a chance to experience life in a Third World refugee camp in Albert Park. Visitors will be taken through the daily trials faced by refugees, and will never be allowed out. / before being shipped off to a remote island to live the rest of their days in imprisonment. And […]
China wants its army to oversee the Australian leg of the Olympic torch relay to ensure protests don’t mar the event, and just do some minor scouting for an invasion. China wants its army to oversee the Australian leg of the Olympic torch relay. They promise a small-scale presence, with only 3 tanks and minimal […]
Applicants rejected from the 2020 summit’s “best and brightest” panel have voiced their disapproval to organisers. Kevin Rudd said he understood the feelings of those who had been left out. It’s not easy being dumb and crap. I can see the bouncers now: “Sorry mate, not with that IQ.” Kevin Rudd was quick to respond […]
Two German air force sergeants are facing court martials for cannibalism after drawing their own blood to make black puddings. But the prosecution may have a tough time – is it really cannibalism if you’re eating yourself? / is it really a crime if you’re consensually eating yourself? Come on, they were just being environmentally […]
A New Zealand man has been found guilty after calling police to falsely claim he was being raped by a wombat. The case was tried in a Kangaroo Court. A New Zealand man has been found guilty after calling police to falsely claim he was being raped by a wombat. In actual fact he’d led […]