Parents of can now buy their slack children a “Study Ball” – a 10 kilogram steel ball-and-chain that can be programmed to remain locked for the required study period. Or until the dishes are done. / Or until those rocks are broken. It’s great for Maths and History, not so great for Phys Ed. Not […]
Month: June 2009
Tuesday, June 09 Tomorrow’s Queenslander Of The Year award will be decided by most bongs in a row with one match. / decided by a boat race and a game of soggy biscuit. / decided by meat-raffle. Tomorrow, the Queenslander of the Year will be announced! Will it be the Prime Minister, the Treasurer, or […]
North Korea has launched its second nuclear test. Fair enough, why should Pakistan, Israel, Russia, China, Britain, India and the USA have the monopoly on nuclear-armed crazies? / have the nuclear lunacy to themselves? Good to see that though he may be ill, he’s still Kim Jong. A couple of years ago, North Korea had […]
A New Zealand couple have fled the country after a bank mistake turned their hundred thousand dollar overdraft into ten million dollars. Meh, let them have it. After all, it’s only New Zealand dollars. It’s surprising the bank didn’t realise sooner. After all, who’s got ten million dollars in New Zealand? / After all, New […]
A British man has decked out his flat as a Star Trek starship. Yep. At least we know he’s got a fully-functional warp drive. And, like characters in the series, he never needs to go to the toilet. Which is lucky, as it’s hard to make your crapper look suitably futuristic. Of course, it’s all […]
Categories
Mr Ruddle (GNW 1/6/09: Warren)
Liberal frontbencher Christopher Pyne called Kevin Rudd “Mr Squiggle” but was forced to withdraw the taunt by the Speaker. There’s only one Mr S in this House. But really – is “Mr Squiggle” all that much more offensive than “Mr Speaker”? Well, it makes a change from Mr Sheen. Now I understand why Rudd’s Carbon […]
In the same week as the Federal budget, MPs not only voted to give themselves a $4700 pay rise, but also began a new scheme allowing them to get taxpayer-funded therapy. It sure can be depressing to know just how much you are ripping off taxpayers for your counselling. In the same week as the […]
British reality singing sensation Susan Boyle has shocked fans with a pair of outbursts filled with four-letter words. You know, words even I can’t say, like “ugly”, “mong” and “huge” “head” “with” “tiny” “face”. Looks like she’ll be a shoe-in for “Britain’s Got Attitude”. / “Britain’s got Tood”. She might’ve swore and ranted, but at […]
A Chinese man held up traffic for five hours threatening to commit suicide, when a man broke through a police cordon, shook the suicidal man’s hand, and pushed him off the bridge. It was the first ever attempt at assisted suicide by bridge. Lai Jiansheng pushed Chen Fuchao off the bridge into a partly-filled emergency […]
After a spate of positive drug tests in Belgium, the Belgian championships had been moved to the Netherlands. But when the doping officials identified themselves during the weigh-in, the bodybuilders all got up and left. And as word spread, the crowd fled too. When the doping officials arrived, the bodybuilders all left. But it wasn’t […]