What’s the biggest snack food in Afghanistan these days? Super Osama bin Laden Kulfa Balls. That’s right, we may not be able to find Osama, but at least we can find his balls. Not only are they delicious, but they may have even masterminded the attacks on 7/11. They really explode in your mouth! They’ve […]
Month: June 2009
Martina Navratilova has called for a ban on tennis-related grunting. Not only does she want to ban the grunt, but the screech, the whinny, the quack, and the plop. She claims the noise is “cheating”, as it distracts the player from their game. And as far as I’m concerned, they should ban those short skirts […]
The organisation Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence has launched a project called Earth Speaks that has asked for suggestions for mankind’s first words to aliens. What about “We’re here for the taking.” “Please bring a plate.” “RSVP before apocalypse.” “Is this thing on?” “Please, when you arrive, can you take Michael Jackson back to his homeworld?” […]
The council of Hardin, a small town in Montana, has unanimously agreed to volunteer the town prison as the new Guantanamo Bay. Well, if you think about it, it’s actually probably the best way of ensuring that you DON’T fall victim to terrorist attack. It’s for their own security. You might notice there haven’t been […]
Microsoft are developing a game console which can be played completely hands-free, which makes a change from the current brain-free models. With the new device, you can interact with a young boy called Milo, without it being called “grooming”. / without attracting the attention of the authorities. The controller, codenamed “Natal” can provide the realistic […]
British police who suspected a gang of burglars were about to embark on a spree wrote them a letter warning that they’d be watched, and then followed them day and night for a week wearing cameras in their hats. Smile! You’re on Candid Copper! Ah, writing letters and wearing cameras in your hats. That’s what […]
Majesty And the bonus question: What revolutionary technique are the Royal family testing out to create green energy? Answer: They are going to try harnessing wind power using only Charlie’s ears. And Camilla’s wind. And the bonus question was: What is the Royal Family’s motto? Answer: “Do or Di”. And the bonus question was: What […]
West Australian police have launched an advertising campaign to get citizens to “phone in a bikie”. It’s a great idea. The person you’re dobbing in is either an innocent person who just happens to ride a motorbike, or a violent criminal with a history of aggressive and unrelenting revenge. Do it, you’ll be fine. Because […]
Sharks at British aquariums are being trained to feed from keepers and even roll over and have their tummies tickled. Aww! If you’re lucky, you can feel the remains of the last shark-keeper that tried that trick. The plan is to make the sharks so well trained that they’ll happily jump in the batter themselves. […]
Tuesday, June 23 Tomorrow’s “Australian Social Worker Of The Year” awards will be announced in Perth. I guess they need the help. Tomorrow, the Australian Social Worker Of The Year awards will be announced. The TV rights are still available. / The action all begins on the threadbare carpet! / The perfect opportunity to wear […]