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Hollywood Kills Romance (GNW 10/8/09: Survey Says)

A study has found that Hollywood romantic comedies have made single men apprehensive about approaching women in bars. They’re afraid that if they get lucky, they’ll have to watch one.

A recent study has found that Hollywood romantic comedies have led men to falsely believe that women don’t want men to approach them in a bar. What’s worse, men think they can’t win a woman’s heart without a bunch of overacted pratfalls.

Movies and TV shows have given men the impression that if they try to chat up a woman in a bar, they’ll end up with a drink tipped over their head. And so they try tipping a drink over the girl’s head. Which admittedly does tend to get a conversation started.

Movies and TV shows have given men the impression that if they try to chat up a woman in a bar, they’ll end up with a drink tipped over their head. And women hate being approached by strange men wearing showercaps. / And women just don’t seem to trust strange men wearing showercaps.

Apparently, this feeling of uncertainty comes from all those movie scenes where the man appraoches a woman in a bar, gets a drink tipped over his head, and walks away with his tail between his legs. Not only do men not want to be rejected, but feel inadequate because they don’t have a tail.

Men who learn from TV shows also feel inadequate when they approach a woman, because they don’t have a laugh track. / because the audience doesn’t laugh when they crack a joke.

Mind you, if a man’s getting his dating tips from Friends, he may not be that great a catch.

70% of men surveyed said they didn’t think women wanted to be approached by a man at a bar, while 80% of women said they wouldn’t mind at all. If the man was Johnny Depp.

It’s not that women don’t want to be approached in bars by men – they just didn’t want to be approached in bars by the kind of men who approach women in bars.

80% of women said that they were open to the possibility of meeting Mr Right over a drink. Or Mr Wrong under one. / And if they don’t meet Mr Right, at least they get to pour drinks on guys’ heads.

Romantic comedies have led most men to conclude that the way to a woman’s heart is to fall for her superficial friend, make a number of hilarious misunderstandings and leave the friend stranded at the altar. So romantic.

Romantic comedies have given men some very screwed-up ideas. Just to clarify, blokes, most women don’t get orgasms while eating lunch.

Let’s face it, if Hugh Grant and Colin Firth can’t get the girl, what hope do the rest of us have?

According to the movies, going up and chatting to a girl at a bar will get you a drink poured over your head. If you really want to intrigue a girl, try being a serial-killing cannibal.

A recent study has found that Hollywood romantic comedies have led men to falsely believe that women don’t want men to approach them in a bar. And Hollywood horror flicks have led men to believe if a girl DOES like him, she’s either a sadistic torturer, or a vampire. / And Woody Allen movies have led men to believe they can sleep with their step-children.

But it all depends on what movies men are watching. Sure, there are many films where a man approaches a woman and ends up with a drink thrown in his face, but there are also many movies where a man approaches a woman, and ends up in a cheerleader threesome.

Despite what many films tell us, women don’t actually mind when a man approaches them and buys them a drink – and, despite what many other films tell us, many of them actually prefer that to when a man approaches them and cums on their tits.

Men are scared of approaching women because of the movies they are watching. Clearly, men need to stop watching “When Harry Met Sally”, and get back to watching “Anal Thunder 3: The Lube Machine”.

The dating specialist says women constantly complain that guys no longer approach them. Where are all the rapists?

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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